The Real Superwomen

We all have an image of who we want to be. We picture an “ideal” that looks the way we want to look, acts the way we think we should, and who does things we wish we could do everyday. Our ideal is just out of reach. So, when we fall short of that perfect version of ourselves, we beat ourselves up. Why, oh why, can’t we be perfect?

I see this all the time with my patients, and I encourage them to consider a perspective adjustment. Instead of envisioning a perfect version of ourselves, let’s take a more frank look and see ourselves realistically. It’s more productive, empowering and even inspiring.

Who are you? What are your strengths and best qualities, in the real world? What are your weaknesses; and can you own them? What do you do well, and not so well? This exercise offers two important effects: You don’t focus exclusively on your flaws, so you’ll feel more positive. You also identify areas you may be able to change because you examine your strengths, what you love and what you know you can do.

Embrace who you really are, and you will understand who you can actually be… in the real world.

Tap into your inner superhero: the real you, maximized according to your potential. It’s the best version of you, but not an idealized, perfect you who has little to do with real life.

As a doctor, I’m especially interested in this real superwoman concept in terms of health. Health isn’t a given. For women (and men, too), it is either something we have or something we want or we’re somewhere in between because we may feel it slipping away.

In any case, lifestyle choices determine whether we keep our health, regain it or improve it. Choices about smoking, drinking, diet, movement, and exercise can help keep you in shape, maintain a good body weight range, keep your cholesterol and blood pressure down, and stabilize your blood sugars.

These basic choices can actually prevent heart disease 80 percent of the time.

But is it really so simple? I know for a fact that it is not! And this is where we get ourselves into trouble. We revert to our image of perfection: We should be slim and strong, always make the right food choices, and never miss a day of exercise. When we fall short, it’s so easy to get frustrated.

So, where’s the disconnect? As women, we often take care of others, put ourselves last, and get bogged down juggling responsibilities. As an American Heart Association Go Red for Women spokesperson and the Director of Women’s Heart Health at Lenox Hill Hospital in NYC, I see the negative effects when women put themselves last.

Now that it’s February (Heart Month), let’s look at the heart as not just a vital organ, but as a metaphor for achieving what we want to achieve. If we take care of our hearts first, we may feel less frustrated about the number on the scale, or whether we missed a workout. If we nurture ourselves and fill our lives with love and self-care, those changes will happen more naturally. The key to being a superwoman is care, not perfection. Your heart is at the heart of how you take steps to healthier lifestyle choices.

Heart disease and stroke kill more women than all cancers combined. Although overall, heart disease rates are declining, they are increasing in women younger than 55, and especially in women of color. We are the ones who need to intervene in our own scenarios.

We all have it in us to be the best we can be, simply by being exactly who we are. Knock that pretend woman off her pedestal and replace her with the real you. Reach inside yourself for inspiration, find your real superwoman, and take care of her. She needs your help because she can’t do it all. Unlike a cartoon superwoman, she has a real beating heart, but she still wants to fly.

Self-care can give you wings. It’s not about doing more, juggling more, being more, or completing more checklists. It’s about loving yourself and giving yourself what you need to be healthy. Is that so very far out of reach?

To see a video about this, click here: http://bit.ly/1SdHj95

This post was written by Suzanne Steinbaum, DO, director of women’s heart health at Lenox Hill Hospital.