Relocation, Frustration, and Domination: Ramblings of an Expat Teen

Well, here I am now, sitting in the dark while everyone sleeps, snores and occasionally gets up to pee. My family is sprawled on the floor in my grandma's living room/dining room/tv room in her her apartment the size of your thumb nail. It is the kind of apartment that you walk into and it just smells of old people, and you walk into the bathroom and find your grandma's denture in a cup of water (true story right there). And I just got up to get my retainer that I'm supposed to wear every night for the next six months, but I can't wear it tonight because the moron I am forced to call my brother hid the box and went to sleep over at my cousin's house so now I can't find it. This is just going to sound like a whole lot of complaining, but this is what it feels like to move. 

Everyone always told me that I'll make new friends and that it's not easy but I'll get through with it. I love you all and thank you for your support but no one knows whack unless they have experienced it before. I mean they're saying it to be supportive and all but here are the basic steps for moving so far:

1. The minute the ol' folks tell you that you're moving, that's when the whole experience starts. It sucks. Luckily I was aware of the fact that it might happen for years now, and I was also told about it a few months early, which was basically a huge towel to soak up all the tears for the next 2 months about how my life sucks and I hate everything and everyone is a stupid jerk like my parents. That's pretty much how I felt from the end of January to March. 

2. You will not like the fact that your parents can barely drag your lazy butt off the computer to get some air, but will now try to get you to go 6000 miles from home. It's even understandable if you're moving to another city. But this was quite a big jump for me, for anyone. My point in this particular lesson is that from the end of January to March, I spent so much time with my school guidance counselor, and by myself devising a plan to escape the 'rents and living behind a McDonald's or something. This is not a happy period of time.

3. Finally, the acceptance stage. It's springtime and all the flowers are blooming and everything is reproducing and fawns and swans prance around in the forest, while regents and finals are coming along. So even though you're cramming your butt off because you didn't study all year round and didn't retain any information, you are FINALLY accepting the fact that living in a cardboard box will not get you far. You begin to realize that there is nothing you can do to reverse your parent's decision, and if you can't beat the crowd, you might as well join it.

4. It's May now, and it is about time you tell your friends that you're leaving. This was one of the hardest obstacles of moving because it's the most difficult to tell someone you're going somewhere really far away from them. For some friends it was easy, but for a few of my closest friends, it was not an easily approachable thing to say. This was hard but it is important not to wait too long, they need some time to accept it too.

5. Still studying for finals, this is when you actually start preparing for the move. Mentally, we're all good, but school was almost ending and there's a lot to be done. Goodbyes should be said soon, this part went by pretty quickly.

6. A few weeks before you leave are the crucial weeks. My dad got the flight tickets 3 weeks before we left, and as you may not think so but this is ample time to say bye to friends and get ready for the big move. Personally, I don't know why but I was not sad at all when I left and not during this process either.

7. The week before you leave is hectic. My parents were so flipping stressed over everything, and I don't blame them but it's also a really hard period of time to deal with because either a) the fact that I was moving didn't hit me yet, or b) it hit me a while ago. This is also a hard time because you are basically packing your life into a few suitcases. And there's a lot of cleaning and that's clearly not a bum's favorite thing to do. Although I do like when things are always clean (irrelevant).

8. THE DAY YOU MOVE SUCKS. Thought that last week was a lot of cleaning? Well if so, then today sucks! Everything at the airport is just as emotional but it's a happy jolly woohoo emotional feeling. Staring out the airplane window looking at New York was just so weird to me. I even tried to cry a little bit and get the bad feelings out but I just couldn't do it. There was a light of joy in me at the time too.

9. Great, carrying 18 enormous suitcases (I kid you not when I say enormous) and 2 pet cages, and all of your carry ons is not easy. Enough said there. See I sorta just wanna skip to what I feel right now.

10. Exactly one week that I have been here isn't easy but it's fun too. It's a totally different experience but throughout a time like this, help is always needed and sacrifices have to be made to achieve a successful move. I have been stuck in this apartment babysitting my brothers, who are just wild and uncontrollable. I don't mind being at my grandmother's house but I find it difficult when you're just so angry about being stuck with them and being abused by them, or when you just wanna sit on your own bed and cry to yourself and just get everything out, you can't because you don't have a room in someone else's house. Or when you just wanna privately sit on the computer while you're on the toilet while you're blogging or scrolling though your newsfeed, you can't because you have no privacy here. This is pretty much where the hardest point of the big move starts.

And now to explain the title!

Relocation- well, that's self explanatory! Relocating 6,000 miles away from where you were born and spent 16 years of your life building relationships and finding yourself. This year is probably the most important year of my life so far because so much was accomplished; I found myself, my group of friends, my talents, and of course, I'm faced with a really tough challenge, but I'm getting through it.

Frustration- what I have been feeling since day one of this whole shindig. Anything that takes this much anger and frustration in life will be worth it in the long run!!

Domination- this part has not yet been discovered yet for me but this is when I reach my goal and I am finally successful and rebuild a second life. THIS IS THE MOMENT I AM WAITING FOR!