Only a Duck Should Honk
Okay it’s time to get together to enact some new rules of the road.
It’s a move to improve pollution (noise), lower the cost of automobiles (parts and labor), minimize crime (road rage), and improve overall health (hyper-anxiety).
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We can do this very simply: just rid all automotive vehicles of horns. Yes, those useless entities that have been part of American driving since the early days of Henry Ford. They may have been a necessary equipment when driving was mostly done for recreation and drivers were relatively inexperienced. But enough is enough. Their value as far as a safety measure has greatly diminished, overcome by their current capability: annoyance.
The mania associated with unnecessary beeping is directly related to drivers’ personal anxiety and need to get wherever they’re going before anyone else. And in order to do so, the horn acts as a means of motivating others to either move along quickly or move out of the way.
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Don’t believe it? Wait about 7 seconds at any busy traffic light that turns red and listen for that distinct sound. Or wait about 5 seconds to make a right turn at a red light and tune in to the car behind. Also be sure to get a good look at the frustrated beeper in your rearview mirror. Then when you complete the turn wait for the car behind to pass you (either right or left is now acceptable, didn’t you know) at mach 7 speed all the while the driver is hammering on the horn. Were any of these activities involving safety measures? I think not. Just tremendous impatience. You probably also have encountered driving on one of Long Island’s picturesque parkways going the speed limit of 55 mph and being passed by “I’m just dying to get there” driver (who probably will) who taps on that horn to let you know you are driving too slowly. For a good day of fun driving, try going 50 mph westbound at 7 am on a weekday morn (I prefer the left lane to enhance the thrill) and count the number of beats. My personal record is 14 before getting across the Nassau County border.
I should note that most states and localities require motor vehicles to have horns and provide laws to enforce their proper use. I haven’t heard yet of one driver who was pulled over for excessive or unlawful honking. If you know of an example, let me know.
