Balancing Acts and Picky Eaters

This week, the Merrick Mom Council tackled a hard question: What has been your biggest challenge in mothering so far? From making sure all of your children feel accepted to picky eaters, the Mom Council shared their thoughts and feelings with you. Read on to see how these moms reacted to their struggles.

Rosalynn Bristol

The biggest challenge that I have encountered as a mother is sharing my time and energies equally. Having four children of different genders that range in different ages makes it tough. I try to make sure that each child gets enough individual attention, while not making it seem like they are my favorite.

At times, to my older children, it seems as if I would rather spend time with the little ones, but it is because they need more help. I have explained that to my children, while trying to find things that they want to like to do. I make sure that my children all know how much I love them and want to spend time with them, but sometimes one or two of them still feel neglected.

So to compact these feelings of neglect, on Friday nights and Saturdays we take turns doing what each child wants, whether it is watching television or playing on the Wii. It is still a struggle to find the time equally, but we are all working on it together.

Barbara Franklin

As I read this week’s question, I thought of all the struggles I have faced as a new mother. It seemed that every new experience presented a new struggle, however these same situations did not seem so bad the second time around as I faced them with my second child. After much introspection, I decided my biggest struggle has been my older son’s eating habits (or lack thereof).  

When Jacob was born, I was fortunate enough to be able to take a year off from work to spend time with him and I decided to breastfeed him. When it was time for solid food, I decided that I would make all his baby food. I spent a lot of time doing this, but every time I tried to feed it to him, it was a struggle. I was heartbroken and I gave up making my own food and just bought baby food like most other mothers. He still refused to eat, but at least it wasn’t my food he was rejecting. After a while, I learned the three or four foods that he would eat (plain pasta, whole-fat yogurt, string cheese, and occasionally, a little apple sauce) and gave in at most meals.

At his doctor’s appointments, I asked the doctor about his diet and the response was always “children will not starve themselves”, “he will eat when he is hungry”, or “he only needs one good meal every three days.” None of these answers made me feel any better.

I often wondered if I did something wrong to promote Jacob’s poor eating. Did I introduce foods the wrong way? Did I push him to hard? I read many articles about children’s eating habits and tried not to be to hard on myself, however, it was difficult not to blame myself. 

When Adam came along, I dreaded starting solid foods for fear of the same struggle.  I did all the same things with Adam as I did with Jacob, even made my own food, however to my surprise, he is a fantastic eater. By the time he was one year old, he was completely on table food, constantly asking to try anything I was eating, even sharing pad thai with my husband.

I introduced foods in the same way for both of my children. They were exposed to the same foods in pretty much the same order. So what makes one a poor eater and one a great eater? 

Jamessina Hille

Most mommies wear several hats, and I am no exception. My mommy hat is always the first and foremost, however the marketing manager, business owner, friend and wife hat need to find their place, too. The challenge, I find, is balancing these roles and giving each the time they deserve.

In addition to both working full time, my husband and I own a web/graphic design firm and we are active in the pursuit of other interests outside the home. Still, we make it a point to have a family dinner each evening and a family breakfast each morning.

Some things I've found helpful to try and create balance is to swap mornings with my husband so I can get to the gym, or take one night of the week to do something for myself. Whether it’s a work function, advisory board meeting or just getting together with friends, that one night is a valuable one.

I have also found that balancing my relationship as a parent with being a wife takes some attention, too. After navigating a three-year-old meltdown and getting the children off to bed with a book and a kiss, I make sure to regroup with Keith and just be us, not mommy and daddy, for a while. I think vacations are important too. We try and do one, whether a week or a weekend, alone, every year.

I have heard from moms with children older than mine that this "mission for achieving balance" is an ongoing one, but one that is rewarding. It’s a success when your week comes to a close and you were able to wear all your hats, and comfortably.

Next week, the Mom's Council will discuss how they picked their child's first place of education - preschool.

Do you have questions for the Merrick Mom Council? Leave us a comment.