Having a premature baby

On January 26, 2004 we became the proud parents of Gavin Timothy Davies.  Born at 1lb 15ozs, 12 ½ inches long, and born at 24 weeks, 5 days. 

Four days prior to January 26 I was admitted to the Howard County Hospital due to being four centimeters dilated and the need to hold off the birth of our child.    I was placed in the bed in a Trendelenburg position, with my head lower then my feet, trying to keep the baby in as long as possible using gravity to our benefit.   This was one of the scariest moments in our lives. 

My husband Tim and I listened to each doctor as they visited and let us know what to expect and what our chances were of having a normal child.   We were given a 50/50 chance of survival by some.  The NICU gave us better hope and that they had had babies this small before with success.

With the NICU’s faith we were scared, but hopeful that everything would work out OK. 

In the night of January 25 during a snow storm my body was showing signs that it would not be long before I would have our son.  In the morning just as the doctor was updating me on my progress – my water broke.  Now was the time.   I was scared as I was advised that they might have to do emergency c-section.  This would be my only child and we didn’t know if he would survive. 

At 10:18 a.m. Gavin Timothy Davies was born.  No sound, unsure of what he looked like, unsure if all would be OK.   We were able to see him shortly after the surgeon finished sewing me up.  I was able to have a traditional c-section due to the quick work of my doctor.

The next 4 months would have many ups and downs.   We were able to hold Gave for the first time in March.  We’ll never forget it as we were on our way to a Mardi Gras party and we stopped in to see Gavin and his nurse Mary asked if we wanted to hold him.  With a quick YES! I took off the beads I had on and was able to hold my baby for the first time.  He was only a little over 2 lbs.  Mary held the breathing tubes at first until I get settled and used to holding Gavin.  It was like nothing I’ve ever experienced – so little, so fragile, my tiny baby who I was finally able to hold in my arms.

During Gavin’s stay in the NICU he had 4 spinal taps and regular checkups on his eyes.  I’ll never forget when we went in and someone was diagnosed with RSV (Respiratory syncytial virus) so they quarantined off the NICU and we were unable to see Gavin.   Every day was scary wondering if my little boy would ever come home.  We were able to comfort Gavin by talking to him and putting our hands on his head and bottom.  Apparently for some reason this calms the preemies and you can see the difference on the heart monitor. Each visit as Gavin got bigger we did Kangaroo Therapy which helps premature babies giving them skin on skin contact with us.  Giving our warmth to our son - - this was the most loving moment and I’m glad I had great nurses who made sure we did all we could.   I pumped during the day and night to give Gavin all the nutrients I could. Granted it was through a feeding tube, but whatever I could do it was to be done and I was happy to do it.

Again, the time in the NICU was like a roller coaster. Kids around Gavin were having brain bleeds and bradycardia. The brain bleeds which lead to a host of disabilities and the bradycardia is when a baby has a slower than normal heartbeat.  The baby must not have a bradycardia for a certain time period for them to go home.  We were lucky in that Gavin never experienced a brain bleed, however, had one brady.  He had his eyes checked regularly by the Wilmer Eye Institute.  Unfortunately, Gavin did experience dragging of the retina.  At first we were unsure if he was going to be blind or possibly legally blind. The meeting with the doctors was devastating. While we were upset, we said if this is all we have to deal with then we got out very lucky. 

I worked full time and wanted to have time for me to be with Gavin when he came home so I went back to work 8 weeks in.  I had an adjusted schedule that allowed me to leave at 4 p.m. so I could make it to Columbia, Maryland by 5 p.m. and have a few hours with Gavin each day.   My husband Tim worked in Columbia and was able to go over at lunch then go back at night to be with Gavin.  

As my birthday was approaching on June 3 and the only gift I wanted was my son to come home and us to be a regular family. 

In preparation for his release, he had to do a car test where they sit him in a car seat for a time period without a lung monitor going off.   It took a little time, but he finally passed.

Gavin was in the NICU from January 26 to June 2, 2004.   Gavin was released at 4 p.m. on June 2!  My birthday wish came true and to this day is still the best gift ever.

As we rode home with big smiles on our faces and so excited to finally have all the time we wanted with our son, the heart/lung monitor Gavin was on started beeping.  Calm panic set in checking to make sure he is breathing and double checking the wires. We found that the wires would sometimes loosen and that would make the monitor go off.  Hearing the sound of the beeping gave us a heart attack each time.  It was hard for a while, but got better day by day.

Gavin grew by leaps and bounds. He came home with having to take 38 doses of medicine each day to off of everything before he was 1 year old. The local Infant and Toddlers program come in and check his progress.  He was delayed in motor skills, but getting along just fine. His Pediatrician who used to work in a NICU was astonished at Gavin’s progress.  He was a happy baby that slept through the night in his own bed, had no problems with eating and was a delight to be around.  After my 6 weeks at home with Gavin, his Grandmother Sarah took care of him for the next 3 years.  Ensuring Gavin a healthy environment to thrive in.

During PreK Gavin was monitored by the Kids First program.  Gavin needed some help and luckily the school got involved and made sure Gavin’s transition to Kindergarten was successful. Gavin was tested at a 133 IQ.  While I wasn’t sure what that meant – I just broke down in tears to finally know that my little boy did not have a cognitive disability.  We had gone through so much it came out in that moment that day – I lost it in front of the Schools Vice Principle and a board of 8 teachers/specialist.  We would meet with the school a few times in the year to have progress and see what could be done for Gavin in the classroom.  

The school year was almost over and they brought to our attention that Gavin might have ADHD.   They asked for permission to test and of course I was for anything that would help Gavin.  It did come back that he has ADHD.  I knew it could be possible as most preemies come down with ADD or ADHD.  It is what it is.  I’m the type of person that just needs to know and I’ll get on with how to deal with it.  Step by step. Whatever it takes to help Gavin be healthy and successful in his life.  A 504 was set in place.

Gavin during the school year is on medicine for ADHD.  We tried a brand that he only takes once a day.  My husband was not a big fan of medicating Gavin, but finally saw the need to get him some help to focus.  I was interesting to me that the school talked about how many parents are against getting the help for their children. Understanding that children with ADHD have basically the noise of a carnival going on in their heads while they are trying to focus, who can do that?    To each his own, but why would someone let their children struggle?  We did try everything we would before medication.  My neighbor who is a pharmacist checks out everything for me before we take any medications. She is amazing in her research.  I was happy when she felt better about the medication we went with as we tried everything else.

Through the years we’ve worked to improve where Gavin’s progress was lacking. 

He has made a good deal of progress with his eyes.  While his right eye is the stronger eye, we’ve been working for the past 3 years to have his left eye become strong. Each night we dilate Gavin’s right eye and during the day patch it.  With patching and glasses Gavin is currently at 20/30!

He still struggles with motor skills, so we get him involved in whatever we can to help. He plays soccer and lacrosse.  He is active as a Cub Scout.  He is my little work out partner in getting back to running and we do little drills to help with speed/coordination.   He will get there, it will just take time.

Gavin has grown to be a delightful little boy.  He is now in 2^nd Grade and stands at 4ft 2½”. He is 95% for height and 90% for weight. 

There are moments on different days that still remind us that Gavin was a preemie – from the many scars on his body from the NICU, when Gavin falls due to his depth perception with his eyes, to a scary cough, to him being upset for being slower during PE at school.  

Our experience has helped friends and friends of friends who have had premature babies. Gavin's success makes them hopeful in a difficult time.  We relied on the Nurses to guide us and we put full faith in their abilities. 

We take the moments as they come and never forget that we had a 50/50 chance of his survival.  He is a miracle little boy and I’m so happy to call him my son.