'The Vagina Monologues' Debuts In Southold, Shines Light On Domestic Violence Awareness

NORTH FORK, NY — A groundbreaking show will be performed in Southold Saturday night as a fundraiser to shine a light of hope during Domestic Violence Awareness month.

"The Vagina Monologues," written by Eve Ensler in 1996, will be presented by Hope and Resilience Long Island, or HARLI, on Saturday at 7 pm. at the Unitarian Universalists of Southold Meeting House, located at 51900 Main Road in Southold.

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"Presented during Domestic Violence Awareness Month, the evening will bring together local performers for a powerful, moving and often humorous production celebrating women's voices, experiences, strength and resilience," said director Pamela Greinke, who is also the executive director of HARLI.

The performance will also feature special musical guest Rebel Elle.

Proceeds from the event will benefit HARLI, a grassroots nonprofit serving survivors of domestic violence, sexual assault and human trafficking across the East End of Long Island.

HARLI provides legal advocacy, trauma counseling, court accompaniment, emergency rent and hotel assistance, and other individualized services to help survivors move toward safety and stability, Greinke said.

Speaking with Patch, Greinke explained why "The Vagina Monologues" was the perfect piece to facilitate a dialogue on the need for awareness.

"'The Vagina Monologues' is a powerful combination of humor, honesty, vulnerability, and courage," Greinke said. "It gives voice to women's experiences that have too often been silenced, including experiences of violence, trauma, and shame."

That connection is especially meaningful to HARLI because so much of the organization's work involves helping survivors find their voices, regain their confidence, and reclaim control over their lives, she said.

"The play opens the door to conversations that aren't always easy to have," Greinke said. "And during Domestic Violence Awareness Month, it's a wonderful opportunity to bring people together, raise awareness, and remind our community that survivors deserve to be heard, believed, and supported."

For the audience, Greinke has a message: "First, I hope they enjoy the performance! There are moments of humor, moments that are deeply moving, and moments that may make people uncomfortable. That's part of what makes this play so powerful. But I also hope people leave with a greater understanding of how important it is to listen without judgment, to believe survivors, and to recognize that we all have a role in creating a community where violence and abuse are no longer tolerated."

She added: "And I hope they'll remember that behind every statistic is a real person with a story, a family, and a future worth protecting."

Greinke said she founded Hope and Resilience Long Island in 2022 after spending many years working directly with survivors of domestic violence, sexual assault, and human trafficking.

"Over those years, I saw firsthand how difficult it can be for survivors to navigate the legal system, access affordable trauma counseling, or simply find the financial resources they need to become safe and independent," she said. "HARLI's mission is to stand with survivors on the East End of Long Island, providing trauma-informed, culturally responsive support, legal advocacy, trauma counseling, crisis assistance, and emergency rent support."

HARLI, she said, is a small, grassroots organization, "and our approach is very personal. We recognize that no two survivors have the same experiences or needs."

Some may need help obtaining an order of protection or navigating a custody case, she said, while others may need counseling for weeks or months before they're emotionally ready to make major decisions. Still others may need emergency financial assistance to keep a roof over their heads, Greinke said.

"Our goal isn't to tell survivors what they should do. It's to listen, respect their choices, and help them access the resources and support they need to move forward on their own terms," Greinke said. "Our vision is simple: A community where every survivor is seen, believed, and supported."

Society needs to be educated about domestic violence, Greinke said, including the fact that domestic violence is not always physical. Abuse can take many forms, including emotional and psychological manipulation, coercive control, financial abuse, threats, isolation, and the misuse of the legal system to intimidate or punish a partner, she said.

"These forms of abuse can be devastating, even when there are no visible injuries. We also need to stop asking, 'Why doesn't she just leave?' Leaving an abusive relationship can be incredibly complicated and, in many cases, the most dangerous time for a survivor," she said.

In addition, there may be children involved, financial dependence, threats, fear of retaliation, or years of psychological abuse that have eroded a person's confidence and sense of independence, Greinke said.

"After nearly 18 years working in this field, I can tell you that survivors don't need judgment or someone telling them what to do," she said. "They need to be believed, treated with dignity, and given the support and resources to make decisions about their own lives. And perhaps most importantly, we need to recognize that domestic violence happens in every community, including our beautiful East End."

Domestic violence, she said, crosses every socioeconomic, cultural, and educational boundary.

Help is needed to see HARLI's mission realized, Greinke said.

"Right now, HARLI is at a critical point. The need for our services continues to grow, but our financial resources have not kept pace," she said. "As a small grassroots nonprofit, we've been able to accomplish a great deal with very limited funding, but we need stronger community support to sustain this work."

Since founding HARLI in 2022, the organization has assisted more than 380 survivors and their children, providing legal advocacy, trauma counseling, crisis support, and emergency financial assistance, Greinke said.

"These are services that can truly change the course of someone's life," she said.

Currently, HARLI operates without paid staff, and much of the day-to-day work is done by Greinke, with the support of the board and a handful of dedicated volunteers, she said.

"While we're deeply committed to this mission, this is not a sustainable model as the demand for services grows," she said.

What HARLI needs most right now is consistent financial support from individuals, local businesses, and foundations that believe survivors deserve access to compassionate, individualized care, regardless of their financial circumstances, she said.

"Donations help us respond to immediate needs, whether that's paying for trauma counseling, helping a survivor remain safely housed, or providing advocacy during a difficult legal process," she said. "But we're also looking for long-term partners who can help us build a stable foundation, including the ability to hire staff and expand our capacity."

Greinke added: "We are incredibly grateful for the support we've received from our community, but we can't do this work alone. Every donation, every partnership, and every person who helps spread the word about HARLI makes a difference. The need is here, the survivors are here, and we want to make sure HARLI can continue to be here for them."

To learn more, volunteer, or donate, click here, or email info@harliinc.org.

The Southold performance of "The Vagina Monologues" is HARLI's most recent production; the show has also been produced in Jamesport and on the South Fork.

Tickets for 'The Vagina Monologues' cost $25 at the door and advance tickets for $20 can be purchased here. There's a pay-what-you-are-able option available for seniors, students and others of limited means. Supporters may also purchase a ticket for a survivor.

For tickets and additional information, call 631-408-6751, or email info@harliinc.org.

Editor's Note: Patch editor Lisa Finn will be performing in Saturday night's show.