Crossing Guard With Heart of Gold Battling Cancer; Faith Keeps Her Strong

GREENPORT, NY — Annette Ray's Greenport home is filled with precious memories. Her beloved elephant collection, china passed down over generations with loving hands, photographs of her children and grandchildren carefully framed.

It's a home filled with love and memories, created by a woman who's faced life's challenges but still held strong to what matters most — her family, her children, and the students she helps every day, holding tiny hands and guiding young hearts.

Ray, 74, is a familiar face on Front Street each day; she's worked for 32 years as a crossing guard for the Greenport School District.

And although she's been battling cancer in recent years, health challenges haven't kept her from her post, or from her tiny charges. "I like kids," she said simply.

Ray, who was formerly a beautician — she attended beauty school in Smithtown — until asthma forced her to stop, has lived in Greenport since the day she was born.

"I live in the same house I grew up in," she said. "My grandfather was a doctor. He delivered me. I was born at home."

With her husband Wilbur Lloyd Ray, whom everyone called "Skeets," she raised three daughters, Mary, Jennifer, and Linda, and planted deep roots in the community, working in the same district where her own girls once attended school and where her granddaughter is now a student.

"Greenport has the nicest kids, I have to tell you," she said. "They all have manners, they're friendly. They're a great group of kids."

The children, she said, know her and trust the woman who's spent a lifetime loving kids. "I have a little girl who comes up the block. I wait for her," she said. "I know who's going to be late, who's not."

And it's a legacy of love that's spanned generations. "One day, one of the mothers came up. She has her little boy with her. She said, 'Hi, Mrs. Ray. You crossed me as a child, and now you're going to cross my son.' That's nice."

Ray began her work as a crossing guard when her daughter Mary was in seventh grade.

Over the years, Ray has been faced with some daunting health challenges, but has remained upbeat and ever cheerful.

She's battled bone myeloma, or bone marrow cancer, for nine years, Ray said. "It's not the curable kind. When I first got it, the doctor told me in September that she didn't think I'd live out the winter."

But over the past nine years, Ray has stood strong, fighting back with chemotherapy and radiation, eating healthy foods; she does not drink or smoke. "I live a steady life, especially since I found out I had cancer. I think that has a lot to do with it," she said.

Two years ago in March, she faced another health crisis when she had to have her aorta replaced; she'd had an undiagnosed birth defect.

Throughout it all, Ray says her unwavering faith has kept her positive and strong; she attends church regularly.

The health crises, she said, have made her faith stronger; church has been a haven. "Where else am I going to go? I just lift a lot to the Lord."

She's faced life's tragedies, including losing her beloved husband, and her brother 13 days before that, with faith as a guiding light.

Ray finds joy each day in the smiling faces of the children she guides across the street. She shares happy stories of the children who came to school in costume on dress up day. "Some of them had on fancy little dresses and suits. They were adorable," she said. "They come out with the cutest things."

She also imparts life lessons, Ray said. If a child isn't acting nicely to a fellow student, she said, "I'll say, 'Hey, do you want someone to treat you like that?' They stop, and they listen."

Ray has also helped out at church, volunteering her time with children at an afternoon program.

When she first learned she had cancer, Ray found herself at a crossroads.

"They wanted me to stop working. But I thought, 'What am I going to do with myself?'"

And so, Ray chose to focus on life, and on savoring each moment of every day, loving her family and the sweet children who bring such joy.

"You go through these things in life. You learn to trust, because we're all headed to the same place," she said. "I think attitude has a lot to do with it. Be happy. We can't depend on other people to make us happy. Just be thankful."