Mother's Day, With Love: Readers Share Memories, Photos, Thanks

Mother's Day can be filled with a full range of emotions, especially when the mothers and grandmothers we love are gone and we've only got the memories to sustain. For me, it was a day that for so many years held more tears than joy, as my heart ached for the mother and grandmother I loved so much and lost before my own baby was even four years old.

But as the years have passed, I've realized that even though they're gone, they left inside my heart the seeds of nurturing and devotion that would prepare me for my own journey through motherhood. Every bedtime story I read, every Norwegian cookie I baked, every Christmas present I wrapped, was a testament to all the love they poured into my heart.

This Mother's Day, we asked readers to share their own heartfelt photographs and memories, plus shout outs of thanks to the moms who are still the guiding force behind lives and hearts — and the stories and words of love are beautiful tributes to the mothers who, quite simply, have meant everything, yesterday, today, and forever. Here are your stories. Happy Mother's Day!

Christopher OKunewicz of Southampton wrote, "Remembering my dear mother. Brought to heaven 28 years now. So many wonderful memories. Love ya, Mom."

Judi Roth of Southampton also opened her heart. "My mom died last year on May 30 —she was 99!— and so this is the first year I won't be celebrating Mother's Day with her. Here is a memory I cherish. My mom was a resident at the Arbors Assisted Living Home in Islandia and as many older people do she kept asking me about her money and saying she didn't have any to buy things or give tips to staff — all of which was unnecessary. This got to be such a big deal for her that one day — a terribly rainy day — I took her to the local Chase bank where she has an account. We were greeted by a nice young man and shown to his office. He asked my mom for her driver's license, which she still had and then looked up her account and asked her how much money she wanted to take out. At this point Mom got flustered and looked at me and said, 'I don't know — maybe $30?' Stifling a chuckle the bank officer said, 'Of course' and went to get the money. When we were back in the Arbors, Mom said to me, 'Maybe I should have taken $50?' This story is precious to me as my mom worked for a commercial banking firm and managed thousands of dollars on a daily basis."

Alison Shelby of Greenport also shared photos and memories of her beloved mother:

"My mom, like all mothers was very special to me and my 13 siblings. Delores Bertha Swann Shelby was well known throughout this community.

"I think you can find a small part of her in all of us."

"My mother was a stay at home mom. She didn't work until the last child went to school. Then she took a job at the school to keep an eye on all of us. Just about anyone you encounter in Greenport remembers 'Bootsie.' She also provided daycare to many — so many between the age of 25 to 55 and older will remember Bootsie.

"Our childhood house was recently demolished in town. It was posted on Facebook. Sad memories from a lot of people started coming in. I responded by telling everyone, 'Thank you for your memories. If we continue to love one another we can make new memories.' Our family felt their pain. It was almost like losing a part of my mom again. This is my mom. I think you can find a small part of her in all of us."

Dennis Kern, who lives in Southold — his mom, today, lives in Port Richy, FL — said he wrote down his memories a few years ago and it's still true today: "Okay, boys and girls, gather round, it’s story time. Once upon a time, a long, long time ago, I met a woman. The funny thing was, although I was not her first, the strangest thing happened. From the moment she laid eyes on me she loved me. I mean, not like a favorite flower or a new car. Not even like that new puppy that you’ve waited years to get because timing wasn’t quite right. No, no, no, I'm talking about a love so deep and core driven, that she made a commitment right there at that moment in time to love, cherish and protect me at any and all cost, no matter what crossed our paths until one or both of us met our end. She taught me to be kind and compassionate to others. She taught me to be a warrior but to only go into battle if the cause was important enough. Throughout my life I have seen this remarkable woman create great meals on a shoestring. Carry the burden of raising a family, making sure they had clean clothes as well as a clean, neat home to live in. She got the kids off to school on time as well as to after school activities.

"The funny thing is that, for whatever reason, there were times over the years that I forgot about the incredible effort she put into the task of taking care of me and at times even took her immense love and devotion for granted — but did she change her mind about me? Not one bit.

"Over the years because of my own changes and even self-centeredness I caused her to worry and also caused her great pain at times, but did that finally convince her that I was a bad investment and that she should dump me like a stock that was about to tank? Nope, not in the least.

"In fact, it seemed that the worse I got, the more she loved me. Over the years we’ve gone our separate ways, sometimes for years on end, but whenever we would cross paths again it was like we never parted.

"If I had wanted to become a super hero, I know, without doubt she would have made me my own cape."

Even after all these years, 61 years to date, and many mistakes on my part this remarkable women still loves me and mine as much, if not more than she did on that very first day at that very first moment she laid her eyes on me. I’m so thankful I met this incredible women when I did. This remarkable women is my mom. Looking back, it's no wonder my dad adored her in such a deep way.

PS: If I had wanted to become a super hero, I know, without doubt she would have made me my own cape."

Sharon Sailor shared her thoughts on the saddest of Mother's Days, and sent a photo of her mother Barbara Sailor with her and her brother Wayne. "Our first Mother’s Day without her. The mom who was a mom’s mom, who gave us our love of water, nature, animals, fresh air, kindness, love of summer, snow days, holidays and all that is good. We love you!"

Claudia Karabaic Sargent lives in Flushing, NY now, but her heart, she said, remains forever on the North Fork; her family used to vacation in Southold and Riverhead when she was a girl "and it was all potato farms."

Sargent shared her memories of love for her mom: "I decided when I was 11 years old that I wanted to go to the High School of Art and Design in Manhattan. I wanted nothing more than to go to school where I could draw all the time. I told my folks; they hoped I’d get over it.

I didn’t get over it.

Fast forward to eighth grade, and taking the diocesan placement tests for the Catholic high schools in mid-autumn 1967. I did very well and would have no problem going to any Catholic high school I chose.

In January 1968, I took the placement test and portfolio submission for the High School of Art and Design. I’d worked on my portfolio throughout Christmas vacation with Our Lady of Sorrows’ third grade-and-art teacher, Miss Mary Biedermann.

I wondered in later years if the nuns knew that Miss Biedermann had helped me; she did so outside of class and on her own time, in her own home. I don’t remember how or by whom the arrangements were made; she wasn’t even my teacher — my middle sister was in her third grade class — but my parents had to have been involved with the planning. I remember bringing home each day’s work and showing my folks. I don’t think they thought I‘d get into A&D; I don’t know how talented they thought I was. There were no artists in my family and no road map for us to follow.

I did get into Art and Design. My real life would begin that fall. All I had to do was tell the principal of Our Lady of Sorrows.

I told my teacher that I’d been accepted to A&D. She told me (and my parents) that there would be a full scholarship for me to go to any Catholic high school I wanted, because of my grades.

I told my parents that, scholarship notwithstanding, I didn’t want to go anywhere but Art & Design.

My folks asked me if I was sure; I was, so that was that.

I recognize now, as an adult, the extraordinary leap of faith my parents made. Their firstborn 13-year old daughter would be taking a subway alone every day, to a high school that none of her friends were attending, to learn how to be an artist.

The principal of Our Lady of Sorrows was incensed by my choice. She called my mother while I was in school; she yelled that my parents were letting me ruin my life, that I wasn’t old enough to make such a choice. Sister tried everything to get my mother to change her mind, or to change my mind for me. My mom told Sister that it was my choice to make, and it was made, but Sister persisted.

My mother hung up on her.

She fought for me, against her own doubts and fears about my choice, and she hung up the phone on the principal of my school. I don’t know that I would have been so brave had I been in my mother’s place.

When I asked her, many years downstream, why she had let me go, she said, 'Because you wanted to– it meant so much to you.'

That is love, and courage, and faith, and hope, wrapped in the fighting spirit that my mom held on to until her last breath. She not only gave me life, but she gave me the life I was truly meant to have.

I’ve been a professional artist for more than 40 years. I’ve designed and illustrated magazine articles, children’s textbooks, greeting cards, and some best-selling books — many of them spiritual anthologies. And, in July 2005, I said a rosary at my mother’s deathbed, grateful then and always for the life she gave me."

Lead photo of Patch editor Lisa Finn with her mother Doris Rabidoux, her grandmother Hilda Bergesen, and her son Billy Finn. Four generations, then and forever in her heart.