Rockland Family Shelter Teaches Students to Protect Themselves [VIDEO]

Rockland Family Shelter Director of Education Nathalie Desert Jones wants to get rid of her job.

Not that she doesn't want to do it. She just wants to eliminate the need for it.

"We want to stop (abusive relationships) from happening," Jones said. "I like to say that I want to get rid of my job. I don't want to be doing this."

Jones, the Director of Education for the Rockland Family Shelter, and Jenn Bernstein ran the three-day Teen Dating Violence Protection Program this week at Pearl River High School. The program focuses on increasing students' understanding of abuse in teen dating, giving them the tools to help themselves and those around them and educating them about the Rockland Family Shelter.

"We want to start talking about this now," Jones said. "Even if they are not the ones going through it, everyone knows when (kids) have problems with their relationships, they go to their friends first.

"One in four relationships involves some kind of abuse. It's not just adults. It is happening in high school as well."

In addition to Pearl River, the program runs at Tappan Zee, Nyack and Spring Valley High Schools and will be coming to Nanuet in the spring.

"Once the teachers find out what it's about, they are usually excited to have us," Jones said. "Once we are there, we are usually back every semester. They fit is into the curriculum wherever it fits best, usually when they are talking about sex or family."

"The kids really enjoy the program," said Pearl River teacher Mike Santini, who had the program in his health class this week. "A lot of the kids interested in this go on to SAEDA (Student Activists Ending Dating Abuse). Quite a few kids from Pearl River have been a part of that. It's good for the kids because it gives them an opportunity to know what's going on in the world, why people do the things they do. The more information they have, the better off they are going to be."

"Our idea is more about nipping it in the bud, trying to get to the root of the problems," Jones said. "(On the third day), we talk about why the statistics are the way they are, why it is 95 percent women being abused by male partners (when there is abuse).

"That way the students who are here catch the activism bug. They get into social justice."

Jones said ideally, the program would address even younger students because the problems can begin in middle school.

"It is all new then," Bernstein said. "It is their first experience. We can get in there in the beginning and show them what a healthy relationship looks like."

Among the things Jones discussed with the class Tuesday were to define what is and what is not rape. She also helped the students to understand what consent is and when it is given or not given. She ran through scenarios with the students, finding out what they think about how different situations should be handled. She also explained that in 85 percent of sexual assault cases, the victim knew the person who committed the assault.

"We get into the issue of gender roles and stereotypes," Jones said. "The idea of the man is supposed to be in charge of the relationship. A woman has a certain role in the household. Some of those things lead into violence. If someone is not given the importance in society, they can get hurt.

"It's trying to teach young men, too. We don't want to paint men as the bad guys. We want them to know women's rights are everybody's rights and they can be part of that."

She also gave the students the Rockland Family Shelter's 24-hour free hotline, which is (845) 634-3344.

The teen programs are free and adaptable for various groups. Jones can be contacted at (845) 634-3391 or by email at ndesert@rocklandfamilyshelter.org for more information. For more information about the Rockland Family Shelter, go to its website at www.rocklandfamilyshelter.org.