Mom Of Teen Who Apparently Took His Own Life: 'Our Hearts Are Totally Broken'

RIVERHEAD, NY — Just hours before he died Sunday of an apparent self-inflicted gunshot wound on Reeves Beach in Riverhead, Carmel Anderson said her beloved 18-year-old son John attended Mass and then came home to share bagels and conversation, his familiar smile and laughter filling her heart and home.

And now, John's family and the entire Riverhead community is struggling to make sense of the inexplicable, ravaged by the unthinkable loss of the well-known Riverhead High School football star.

"Everyone's heart is broken. Totally, totally broken," Carmel Anderson said. "The hearts of everyone in Riverhead, and the whole of Ireland, are broken for him."

Reflecting on her son, Anderson's voice fills with emotion: "I would call John the kindest, funniest, most loving boy. He was always so helpful to me. No matter what I asked, he'd say, 'OK, Mom.'"

On the Friday before he died, her son came with her to BJ's to help carry the groceries, she said. "He wanted chocolate chip cookies, Tostitos and avocados, because his friends were coming over. He put every possible thing in that shopping cart. I never saw this coming."

Life was normal. A normal, everyday Friday, Anderson said; when she got a $20 reward at BJ's, she gave the money to her son for gas, the way she normally would.

"I loved him to pieces," she said. "My husband Dennis and I are older parents and we had only two children, and we just loved him to bits."

The crowds filling the family's home bring stories about her precious son, stories about a young man who had everything to look forward to.

"People are telling me more and more about him and every person — black, brown, yellow, white — he was their friend. He helped them, and was nice to people. He was just a good, all-around boy," she said.

And yet, there is no explanation for why he died so tragically on the beach, she said.

"The toxicology report came back and there were no drugs, there was no alcohol, thank God," she said. "We knew that, because he was always the designated driver of my Honda minivan. He'd be the designated driver because he wasn't drinking, and we were very glad of that. We constantly told him how proud of him we were, because of that."

With all of her family visiting from Ireland, the Andersons headed to Reeves Beach Wednesday, where bereft friends have left her son's T-shirt at the very spot where he died.

They had a prayer service on the beach and then saw two friends of John's. "The boys told us they had the most fun in that minivan, driving with the door open in the rain. He was just the greatest guy," Anderson said.

While Anderson said she is not a "holy person, by any means," she said she does believe strongly in prayer. "I have a huge devotion to the holy mother of God."

Her son, Anderson said, would always come willingly to Mass with his family. "I never had to beg him to come."

Even on what would be the last day of his life, her son attended Mass, she said. "He didn't come at 9:15 a.m. because he'd been out the night before. So he said he wouldn't go to Wading River, but he'd go to St. Isidore's later."

When John came home, she said, "He was laughing." An older man, she said, had asked him to be an usher.

Mother and son shared laughter at the kitchen counter; she was sitting close beside him, never knowing that those would be the last moments she'd share with her firstborn child.

"He had a bagel with smoked salmon and onions. We chatted a little. He didn't say too much. When he went out, a little after 1 p.m., he said he was going to see a friend." Her voice broke. "He never came back."

Bewildered, Anderson said, "What do you make of that? We didn't know. No one knew. I did not know there was a thing wrong with that boy."

In fact, Anderson said, her son's future was nothing but bright with promise. A football star with the Riverhead High School Blue Waves, he had just applied to the State University of New York at Cortland; he was impressed by a tour of the $55 million gym donated by the Jets, she said.

"When we got home, he paid the $200 admission fee on the computer," his mother said. During a recent college tour getaway, John and her daughter Maria — the two were only 17 months apart — had a "wonderful week," she said.

Her voice quiet, Anderson said: "He wasn't perfect. Don't get me wrong, we all have our moments. But I never knew there was anything wrong with John."

Funeral services will be held Thursday and Friday at the Alexander Tuthill Funeral Home, located at 6447 Route 25A, in Wading River. Visitation will be held Thursday from 2 p.m. to 4 p.m. and 7 p.m. to 9 p.m. A funeral Mass will be held Friday at 10 a.m. at St. John the Baptist RC Church in Wading River. Interment will follow at Calverton National Cemetery.

A scholarship fund at Riverhead High School is being set up in John Dennis Anderson's name, to honor his memory.

The community has been heartbroken with grief after hearing of John's death.

"There are no words that can fully encapsulate the grief that the entire Riverhead community is feeling in the face of this tragedy," Riverhead Superintendent Nancy Carney said. "We stand with the Anderson family today in sympathy and sadness."

In order to help students who are grieving, she said: "Mental health professionals from across the district are standing by to assist students and staff in coping with this tragic loss. We have also reached out for additional support from outside agencies."

Rivehead Town officials, too, are sending their condolences to the Anderson family.

"My thoughts and prayers are with the family at this most difficult time," Riverhead Town Supervisor Sean Walter said.

Friends and athletes are also struggling to comprehend the tragedy.

"I can't stop asking myself why. You were my first varsity football player friend," wrote Lawrence Bishop on Instagram. "I don't know why bad things happen to good people. I've never seen you with a frown on your face. . .I will never forget the things you've done for me. I love you bro. Rest in paradise."

Photos courtesy of Anderson family