I'm A LOSER!

I’M A LOSER!

                                                                                                                        By: Carole Blake

Well…not really. Well…maybe! Let me explain. I’m a senior citizen, and ever since that happened to me (“Senior Citizenship”), I seem to lose things: like my concentration when I’m telling an involved story; like my composure when I laugh at something I’m not supposed to laugh at; and like my reading glasses. Here’s a little story to prove my point.

My husband Larry and I took a short vacation to Delray Beach, Florida (a lovely town) not so long ago. (Don’t ask me for dates…’cause I forget.) The flight was fine – although a little too bumpy for me…just saying – and we landed at the West Palm Beach airport. I had MapQuested the directions from the airport to the hotel, and since I had no problem reading those directions, I KNOW I had my reading glasses then. We decided to have dinner at our hotel that night, and since I was able to read the menu, I KNOW I had my reading glasses then! However, the next morning, I couldn’t find my reading glasses…anywhere!

At home, I have maybe a half dozen pairs of reading glasses…in the kitchen (for recipes), in my office (for business), in the living room (books and newspapers), in the bedroom (for the crossword late at night…don’t ask), and in basically all the other rooms in our house. (I really hate them in my bathroom when I’m putting on my makeup and I can see every damn line in my face! I’d rather not see so clearly!). Anyway…I’m never at a loss for reading glasses!

But now, on this vacation…here’s what happened. That first morning we went to the front desk at our hotel and asked the young lady there if a pair of glasses had been found. After she checked and told us “no”, I knew I had lost my reading glasses…and I knew that I needed new ones in order to have a decent time on this trip. So when Larry and I went out to lunch on beautiful Atlantic Avenue, I couldn’t read the menu, so he read it for me. We had a delightful lunch, but when we finished, and he had several business calls to make, I decided to go across the street to a drugstore and buy a new pair of reading glasses. Fortunately, they had a nice selection, and I found a pair that was just fine. I paid for them and went back to the outdoor area where I had left my husband. He had finished his business calls, and, as we were walking back to our lovely hotel, I realized that I no longer had my sun glasses – which I thought had been on top of my head. OK. So, while I was buying a new pair of reading glasses…I LOST MY SUNGLASSES!!! Could that possibly be?? Yes…it could!

This was getting weirder and weirder. There was a store on the way back to our hotel which sold sun glasses, and Larry insisted upon buying me a pair. I think he wanted to calm me down! Anyway, when we got back, we stopped by the front desk – again – and I asked if a pair of sunglasses had been found. The young lady kind of looked at me suspiciously. Wasn’t I the same woman who had asked earlier about a missing pair of reading glasses? Was this some sort of “Glasses Scam”? Well, she slowly picked up a pair of sunglasses holding them close to her chest. “Are these yours?” YES!! They were my missing sunglasses! Thank you very much! And as we headed toward the elevators, I saw her looking at us and shaking her head. So now I had two pairs of sun glasses since I couldn’t return the new ones having removed all the stickers from them only moments ago.

Talking about losing things, the very next day Larry couldn’t find his cell phone. Now this was serious! We looked everywhere in our room, but he was thinking he had left it at the restaurant we had been at the night before. This restaurant was a forty-five minute car ride from our hotel, but he was ready to drive there at ten in the morning. “Glasses – Smasses!” but a cell phone is business…it’s life…it’s survival! Happily, upon getting into our rented car, Larry found his phone, and so he didn’t have to make the drive. Phew!

I managed to retain all 3 pairs of my glasses for the remainder of our trip. Larry still has his phone. And except for the tornado warnings on our last night – this vacation was a winner!