Making New Holiday Traditions in the Time of COVID-19

Many of us look forward to annual festivities and traditions that may not seem possible during the COVID-19 pandemic – at least not without meaningful accommodations and sacrifice. This was the case for many people who spent Thanksgiving apart from friends, family, and beloved traditions. Even with our best efforts to stay positive, many of us will experience sadness, disappointment, and a sense of loss for the traditions we typically enjoy during this time of year.

There is no doubt that this will be a holiday season like no other but focusing on just how “miserable” it will be, creates a self-fulfilling prophecy. That is why it is so important to prepare and reimagine how you will spend the holidays. With flexibility, creativity, and adaptive thinking, we may still be able to enjoy a memorable holiday season with our loved ones – even if we are in different places.

Here are a few tips.

Ease up on unhelpful thoughts:

First, pay a bit more attention to what and how you are thinking. Be mindful of whether your inner voice will help you cope or make you crumble in the weeks to come.

• All-or-nothing: Are you throwing in the towel to a completely spoiled holiday? Do you grasp tightly to the idea that anything less than full-on festivities is a failure?
• Awfulizing: Are you thinking about how truly awful it is to be having a terrible time during the worst holiday ever?
• Negative filter: Do you focus mostly on what is missing or not going right instead of thinking about what is salvageable or reasons why you could be grateful?

Ultimately, you decide whether it is possible to repair a “horrible” holiday by keeping things in perspective. Remind yourself that a crummy Christmas may not be a “catastrophe,” and there may be nothing that “horrible” about a less festive Hanukah.

Reinvent traditions:

If there are traditions you might miss, consider reconstructing them in your own home. For example, if your family sees a live performance of the Nutcracker every year, make a commitment to carrying on the custom by watching it televised, streaming, or at a drive-in movie theater.

Use your imagination:

Many of us can recall a time from childhood when we went to great imaginative lengths to avoid boredom when snowed in from school or stuck at home without power. Reconnect with that childlike superpower by accessing your sense of silliness and playful imagination. Create a new memory to laugh about in years to come – for example, perform your own rendition of the Nutcracker.

Holiday e-celebration:

Host a virtual event and invite your loved ones. Send along a schedule with a list of recommended foods and items to have on hand. On the day of the event, encourage your guests to set up their living rooms to join for snacks and cheese before dinner. Using a shared music playlist, tuning into the same television station, playing a game together, or simply catching up – try to match as closely as possible--the typical fanfare of past years. When time for the main meal approaches, ask everyone to head over to their dinner table to “share” a meal.

Schedule plans with yourself:

Even if you are alone this year, you can still plan your holidays in advance, and include your favorite activities and traditions. For instance, decorate your home, grab a pint of eggnog ice cream, and enjoy your favorite holiday movie.

Help others:

Now is a perfect time to help others who are lonely or hurting. A growing number of opportunities for virtual volunteering allow people to connect with others in meaningful ways safely from home. The range of activities listed on remote volunteer databases are expansive. For example, caring telephone calls to older adults in isolation, career advice to high school students, narrating audiobooks for students with visual impairments, translator services, and many more.

Practice gratitude:

It is easy to focus on the things we are missing. Instead, name three things that you are grateful for right now.

Seek help when needed:

If you are struggling, consider seeking professional help. Now may be a better time than ever to begin virtual therapy. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline provides 24/7, free and confidential support for individuals in suicidal crisis and emotional distress by calling 800-273-8255 or visiting https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/talk-to-someone-now.

Michael B. Klein, Ph.D., is a licensed clinical psychologist at Gracie Square Hospital. He specializes in cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), including traditional models and acceptance/mindfulness-based approaches. In addition, Dr. Klein has demonstrated expertise in the areas of anger management and motivational interviewing.

About Gracie Square Hospital:

Gracie Square Hospital has provided comprehensive, patient-centered behavioral health services since 1959. The Hospital’s holistic approach focuses on the individual needs of every patient, their loved ones, and the networks that surround them. Gracie Square prepares patients to return to their communities to live healthy, productive lives by employing immersive programming. Recent improvements to enhance Gracie Square’s warm and welcoming environment, include a new, 3,000-square-foot-rooftop garden, renovated lobby and patient rooms, and a new admitting suite, and an array of unique programs address the needs of local Asian and Orthodox Jewish communities. The diagnostic and treatment programs—provided by skilled behavioral healthcare and management teams—create a nurturing therapeutic environment where patients are encouraged to ask questions, and gain a better understanding of their illness and treatment plan. This holistic approach is among the many reasons why Gracie Square was one of only 85 healthcare organizations worldwide and only one in NYC to receive Planetree International’s Gold Certification for Excellence in Person-Centered Care.