Blue Collar Zen

Blue Collar Zen

#feelbetter

I’ve always thought that people need to feel good about themselves and I see my role as offering support to them, to provide some light along the way. –Leo Buscaglia

If you follow EagleOM on social media at all you then for the most part know me. My posts vary from the inspirational, to the absurd. I try to put a little bit of this and a little bit of that out there every morning. Sometimes I post things that I need to hear, sometimes it’s a message I want my children to see and sometimes it has nothing to do with me or my life but it somehow resonates and I know that it is going to speak to someone out there.

I began this quest to find “that thing” the year my youngest went to Kindergarten. You know, “that thing”, the thing that is your life calling? I’m fairly certain its Oprah’s fault that I even considered trying to find my purpose. (I mean I would have at some point but she sped up the process.) When she came on at 4 pm in New York I would give myself permission to sit down and watch television for an hour. Really watch it. Not just have it on while making dinner or folding laundry but sit my ass down. For a lot of women who stay at home, sitting down during the day is considered decadent. A feeling of guilt that you are lucky enough to not have to work so you had better look busy or someone is going to catch on to this scam you have going on that you need to stay home everyday not working outside the house while your kids are in school all day. (And before you say, it’s the hardest job in the world! Yes, I agree but at some point your kids get older and it’s physically not as demanding as it once was and life starts to get a little easier in that aspect. As comedian Bill Burr says, Motherhood is the hardest job? Really Oprah? I’m pretty sure anything you can do in your pajamas is not the hardest job. Try being a roofer in August.)

Maybe its because I grew up in a blue collar working class household where if you didn’t have a regular job and a side job, my father considered you a lazy bastard. Whatever the reason, I didn’t let my ass touch a seat until all chores, necessary or invented were done and Oprah came on. (Remember In Living Color? The Wayans’s family had a comedy sketch show. One of the recurring bits was called Hey Mon. It was about a Jamaican family who prided themselves on being the hardest working family in the country. They hated the daughter’s boyfriend because “He lazy, only three jobs Mon.” My father loved that bit because he could identify.)

Sometimes, if I did sit down during the course of the day I would guiltily jump up if anyone walked into the room. “I wasn’t doing anything!” Making my husband and kids look at me like I was a lunatic, which of course I was. Why wouldn’t I just sit down if I wanted to sit down? I didn’t feel worthy enough. If I sat down during daylight hours, it was with a basket of laundry in front of me or some other task that you could potentially do seated (peeling, chopping.) Oprah gave me permission to just sit.

I can pin point it to 2008. Oprah did a webinar with Eckhart Tolle about his book ‘A New Earth’, and my soul was stirred. In case you are not familiar with the book, Meister Eckhart wanted to convey the message that everyone should try to live in the present. His mission was to awaken the spirit, helping people to become more aware and to try to bring about a shift in consciousness.

I was sort of on this path already.  The same father who would accuse you of burning daylight if you slept to late was also an organics guru and a spiritual seeker himself. However, I rebelled against his blue-collar Zen ways growing up. I longed for a home with a living room set that matched and a dad who was “normal”. How do you rebel against a rebel? You marry a capitalist and take your kids to McDonald’s as a treat!

 At some point I started to revert back to type. As my children grew older I found myself less and less “busy”. I was quickly transitioning from manager to consultant. I became a mother at a very young age and it was really the only position of importance I had ever held in my entire adult life. I was the mom. Now that role was changing and I started to take a closer look and see what else I was.

A few years prior I had gotten certified to teach yoga. I love athletics and being present in my physical body. I love challenges and pushing myself. I never had an older brother but I imagine if I did and he said “Go upstairs and get my jacket out of my room, I’ll time you!” I would have fallen for it every time. I may not be the best but I always try and I never quit. So doing something physical just made sense to me, and yoga was beginning to be very popular with mainstream gyms at the time.

So I’m teaching yoga, but that’s not really it. I love it! But there has to be more. I also find that I love teaching beginners because with the craze of yoga popping up in sports clubs across the country not only were people who didn’t understand the philosophy behind yoga trying to teach it and in some cases injuring people but it made yoga purists very leery of other types of yoga. There are the Yoga elite!  The people who are “Yogier than thou” If you will, who can stick their heads between their legs and kiss their own ass they are so good at being bendy and they want you to know it! But, I like people who are brave enough to try something for the very first time.  I like people who are scared but do it anyway. Those are my people, and that is who I love to teach because they are me and I am them.

So a few years in I get hooked up with a woman that my friend referred to as her “energy lady”. After going to a workshop on the chakras, (in case you don’t know, in brief the chakras are the seven energy points in our subtle body correlating with different major arteries and veins. It is believed that vital life force energy flows through these chakras. We could talk about this all day. I went to a whole workshop for three days and talked about nothing else for crying out loud!)

When I came home from this workshop I asked my friend for her energy ladies number and there is where I received Reiki for the very first time. Reiki is a life balancing vibrational healing practice that when practiced regularly, engages our own bodies ability to self heal physically, emotionally and spiritually.

I had a profound life changing experience when I received Reiki for the first time. I went on to become a Reiki practitioner and finally after studying with my mentor for a few years, became a Reiki Master. Reiki has helped me accept what challenges life brings me with a clear and balanced perspective. Now, having said that I am still a human and I can freak the F out as much as anyone can. However, I feel like my self-Reiki practice enables me to come back to what is meaningful and real quicker than it would if I didn’t have this tool. In other words, I still can freak out, I also can recover and come back to a more balanced state in a timely fashion.

People use meditation much the same way. I love meditation; it is an invaluable modality for those who practice regularly. But Reiki is my girl.

So I felt like I was closer but “that thing” was still just beyond my grasp. I was stretching as tall as I could and I could feel my fingers scraping the bottom of whatever it was but it was still just out of reach.

So I started experimenting with juicing. I became slightly obsessed. (Kind of like when Boboli was invented and we ate three squares a day for a month on a Boboli. Except better for you.) Maybe this was the key to the thing? Eh, yeah. I guess, sort of. I sure did love it. It made me feel better. I helped a lot of people get started to think about what they consumed and how it made them feel. I was getting closer…

Then my father died. My blue-collar Zen dad was not on the Earth anymore. Suddenly I started remembering his long talks we shared my entire life as interesting not the eye rolling force feed that I once viewed them as. (Not always but ya know, I’m just being honest.)

Suddenly I had a million questions for him from the most profound philosophical topics to how do I fix my toilet? (One of his careers was plumber.) I missed my opportunity to pick his brain about the things that he had what seemed like an endless supply of knowledge on. I missed it. I missed him.

But he must be working over time somewhere out there because this year I feel like I was getting downloaded with information that would just find me somehow. Books, movies, people. Synchronistically coming to me when and how I needed them. And I was actually noticing it and recognizing all of it.  Eureka! I got it! “That thing!” I reached up and, as my Dad used to tell me during Little League days, I got a piece of it.

I know what it is! Like Steve Martin in The Jerk, I found my special purpose! I am here to help people feel better. And the only reason I know how to do that is because I know what its like to feel bad and I know how to stop feeling bad and start to feel better. And the answer is there is not one answer. It’s so many things for each of us individually. However there is a basic guideline that you can follow to begin to feel better too.

Consistency. Get with the program and stick with it. Working out doesn’t work if you only do it sometimes. The same goes for everything else in your life. This is the cornerstone of the steps because without this one none of the others will work. Be consistent with your physical body, your spiritual practice, your eating habits and your life will change for the better. (You know, if you’re consistently choosing good things!) Be consistent, be true to your word. Consistency in all aspects of life will help you to be respected and trusted by people you love. You will begin to feel better when you live with consistency. Swear.

Stay Present. If consistency is the cornerstone than staying present is, well, whatever is the next most important piece of building something. Because this one is BIG. My friend Tori, (Holla!), said to me once “Look down, are their spiders crawling up your legs? Then you’re alright.” Get your head out of the past. I know, I know, but its true. Its over and you can’t change it. Don’t worry about the future. Of course make plans but take the worry part out. Once you accept that life is going to keep going no matter how much you worry than maybe you won’t worry so much. Its true what they say worry doesn’t change tomorrow but it robs of your joy today.

Help Someone Else. I can gaur-on-damn-tee, that if you reach out to someone who needs help you will instantly feel better. There is nothing in this world that feels better than being the cause or the catalyst to someone else’s joy. I think that is why its so hard to watch kids grow up, you become addicted to that feeling of being the person gets to help someone all the time. So go find somebody that needs help, unfortunately they are not in short supply.

Practice Gratitude. Like, all the time. I was reminded of this when I forgot my ez pass while driving my daughter back to school last week. I was so annoyed with the fact that I had to wait in the cash lane and I wouldn’t shut up about it. When my daughter said, “Oh well, at least we aren’t that guy”, as we passed a man with a flat tire on the ramp going onto the bridge. Thank you, thank you, and thank you. And please send an angel down to help that poor guy while he changes his flat. Thank you, all the time about the smallest of things. (I love my hairbrush, it works just right in my crazy hair!) To the tallest of things, thank you for this incredible healthy family. Keep practicing, even when you forget, you can stop and go back to being grateful anytime.

Change your default setting. Are you stuck on, Eeyore mode? It probably won’t work out? Change it. Change your default setting to automatically say, when it works out. It’s going to work out. I can’t wait for this to work out! I am so grateful that this is going to work out. (You get the picture?)

Change your Mind! Don’t forget to remember to change your mind. Be flexible in life. Take things as they come and when the bad stuff starts creeping in just stop and change your mind. Don’t “go there.” (Oh no she d’int!) Stop it! Don’t think bad thoughts. The universe is listening so when you think things like, “I can’t lose this job. I had better not lose this job. I hope I don’t lose this job!” And you lose the job and you say, “I knew it!” Well, you made that happen. All the universe heard was lose job, lose job, lose job. So keep the thoughts positive and watch what you think!! Recently I was driving around pot holed filled streets and all I kept thinking was I had better not get a flat. I have never had a flat tire in my entire life and after and hour of thinking about it, guess what? I got one! All I could do was laugh because I did that. Oh well, watch what I’m thinking, I know better.

The last key to feeling better…

Laugh. It is a universal language that everyone speaks. We are all connected by love, music and by laughter. Laughter transcends age, culture and language. Get with people who make you laugh. Ditch the energy zappers that bring you down. Don’t be addicted to misery. Be addicted to happiness. Do things that give you a lift. Listen to great music, watch a comedy, read something funny. Milton Berle once said, “Laughter is an instant vacation.” Its true, you get with a good friend who can make you laugh, your troubles go out the door.

It isn’t reinventing the wheel. It is actually all very simple. The key is being consistent with all of it.

Join me for an open house at LIFT WHBeach Saturday April 12, at 11am. I will be talking about and demonstrating How to Feel Better With Reiki. See you there.