Forgiveness and Healing

There has been a substantial amount of research done in the last 20 years examining what forgiveness really is and measuring its beneficial effect on health. And, that the opposite of forgiveness–anger, resentment and hate–is detrimental to well-being. (See studies by Leon F. Seltzer, Ph.D. and Emma Seppala Ph.D. Science Director at Stanford’s Center for Compassion and Altruism.)

While we may admit that forgiveness is good for us and theoretically what we wish to attain, actually getting there may seem very difficult or even impossible under some circumstances. Why? What can we do to open ourselves to forgiving those whom we feel have wronged us? Maybe a good place to start is recognizing that we ourselves have need of forgiveness.

Recognizing our own shortcomings, and that God is always ready to forgive us makes it easier to forgive others. If we are not open to forgiving others, how are we to be receptive to the divine source of love that lifts us higher in our living of love?

Perhaps what sometimes hinders our letting go of resentment and moving forward with kindness, compassion, respect of others, and patience is a misunderstanding of our own true nature. A common view of life today is that we are driven by self-interest–by the desire for pleasure, material gain, material success and the approval of others. Accepting this view of ourselves can result in a limited room for the spiritual qualities necessary for forgiveness.

But what if we see ourselves more in the light of what the master Christian, Christ Jesus, meant when he said, “the kingdom of God is within you”? Wouldn’t that mean that each of us has a divine source of forgiving love that is natural to us? Even the desire to want to resolve conflict through forgiveness hints at the universal Love that is really motivating all the good in our lives.

Jesus said we should forgive our brother 70 x 7, and he showed us how empowering this is by his resurrection following the ultimate example of forgiveness by his words on the cross, “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.”

A woman I know of had an experience that illustrates the power of forgiveness.

When she was a college freshman she lost her hearing. And, there were no medical solutions that could restore it.

Seeking answers of how to move forward with her life, she read regularly and pondered more deeply the Bible and a book by Christian author, Mary Baker Eddy. She was impressed with the description of God as love found in the New Testament. She focused on communicating love in her every action and behavior. She wanted to understand better this God that is Love.

Eventually this unselfish love, this “kingdom of God within”, wiped away a deep anger she had held for 20 years toward her dad. She said it felt like a heavy weight was lifted off of her–one that she had been carrying but not recognizing–and over the next eighteen months, her hearing returned to normal.

She says: “I look at Jesus’ commandment to love one another, and it is not abstract. I’m a believer. I know that (divine) Love has healing power. And forgiveness is about (divine) Love.” Isn’t she showing us that we too can forgive, because it is within us, part of our spiritual DNA as children of universal Love?