Zoning for me, not for Thee

Imagine, if you will, that your son was in the Boy Scouts. Maybe he is. As part of your volunteer work, you purchase a 14 foot aluminum boat, with a small outboard. You're thrilled that your son can take his scouting friends on your boat, and get their merit badges. So you've spent a few thousand dollars, and made sure everything is water tight. She runs great.

So after taking her out a few times with the boys, you put her down your driveway, and get on with your job and life. One day, you come home and in the mail is a letter with a photo of your little boat from the City of White Plains. You're in violation of a zoning law, written who knows when, because none of your Common Council people will tell you. Why it is on the books is a mystery. But, like the law on having a tool shed in your yard, somehow, it's going to ruin the neighborhood. So you remove the boat and pay to store it. It's a slam dunk for the City. No explanation, one chance to recover. It doesn't matter that if you drive 8 miles to Greenwich, Connecticut, right next door, you'll see houses worth four times as much with boats in the yard. That is irrelevant. The law is the law. Don't be a trouble maker. Boats are bad. Period. No explanation.

This, coming from a city where no one is allowed to dance in a club. But don't worry. We're modern. We got rid of our horses. The equestrian police corps was disbanded. We're really modern when it comes to our number one business; parking. Don't even think about it! Got ya.

Now, compare that treatment to how developers are treated when they buy particularly zoned property on speculation. Zoned for homes, and you want a school? No problem, we'll violate our own rules. Zoned for a school, and you want apartments, no problem at all. After all, we're the city that put Washington's Headquarters on a truck and moved it up to Park Circle so it would be in "a better area." We answer to us. Not to you. And you cannot change it.

We live in a city where if a merchant puts up a sign to have a sale to pay the outrageous commercial rents, they're fined. No big, ugly signs, we hear. Okay. Yet if you drive south on the Bronx River Parkway, you'd think the name of the city was Alliance Bernstein. It cuts across all aspects of enforcement in White Plains, and no wonder; we're a one party town. Taxes increase, police manpower decreases, signs go up without warning, telling us that the streets we've been turning red on for years are no longer safe. And it all happens as a result of meetings held when you and I are at work. If you call and ask to give input, you'll be laughed at. Shut up!

So if you don't like schools with parking lots and traffic messing up your end of town, remember that at election time. If you think maybe having a Sunfish in your driveway won't cause your neighborhood to come crashing down, remember that at election time. If you think that maybe, just maybe, the park you pay for every year in your taxes should allow you to walk a dog or have a cigar, think about that at election time. Last year has shown, that citizens do not forget. Let's see if next year, the pols in White Plains suspect that you may not blindly vote for them. My hopes are not high. Now, obey the law!