From the owner of Oak & Iris, Sascha:
Hello Dear people who sent me an email today asking why the sing along was canceled:
Thank you for taking the time to write.
I think I made a mistake in not explaining in detail why this decision was made. I apologies for causing you unpleasant feelings and disappointments.
Yesterday I received some very threatening messages from a mother who wanted to burn down Oak and Iris because we canceled sing along.
I took time to write her back the explanation and I am copying this to you as well.
Again I feel heartbroken myself that some many parents are disappointed and I am in communication with Katie encouraging her to do this same sing-along at my friends space.
Here is what I answered an upset customer who called me names and said they will burn us down:
Dear .......
I am sorry that you feel that way and I do feel very sad to cancel the Sing-along myself as we love having kids at our cafe and the entire ethic of cafe has been built around families. I ask you to please not take it personally. I sure do not intend to disappoint you as a customer or to make your kids sad. We do love and welcome kids to our cafe and we have the kids corner and menu to make it comfortable for the kids in our community. I constantly put effort in bringing new toys and books and keeping it clean and safe and friendly to any child. The waitresses are trained and taught to make kids feel welcome and special.
Of course there is a reason for why we felt that we had to cancel the Sing-Along and I am sure once you know about it you might understand us better or may be you would even have an advice.
I intend to take the time to respond to you, because I do care, not just because you are a customer but because I don't want anyone to be misled or upset.
The Thursday sing along got bigger and bigger, we were up to 25 kids (each with parent or caregiver and strollers – total fire hazard). I tired to talk to Katie many times and it was not easy to come to any agreements. The sing-along is Katie’s event; cafe only provided a space for her gathering. She does it all since I sure can't do a sing-along myself.
Believe it how frustrating it has also been that nearly at every sing along there was something broken at our cafe, by kid’s whose parents were not looking after their kids. I have three kids myself and I understand that parents what to relax and have a break too, but the aftermath was getting worse and worse. Sadly some parents would just allow their kids to tear our cafe down. In the last month 2 chairs were broken during sing-along, books ripped, a boy opened a drink refrigerator and started to through bottled drinks out on the floor, dishes broken, cereal boxes were rolling all over the floor, and the list is long.
Regular customers will not come in and eat on Thursdays, pm. The sales during Sing-along were down to $15 with some nice parents buying coffees and cookies. The clean up was huge. The waitress was very frustrated since she got no tips either. Katie made money, but we only lost. Out of all the money that Katie made charging $5, we got from 3 to 8 dollars. For 2 years I just tried to look at this event similar to a charity event for the community, but lately it escalated to loss for the business. Perhaps Tea Lounge and Vox Pop are more set up for events and are more as a kid’s cafe and we are more set up for a restaurant/cafe that is very family friendly.
Our business is not profitable yet, that is why I have worked full time elsewhere while managing the cafe to keep it open. For me it is a hobby more then a way of making a living and I think our community really needed a place like that. I am not complaining, I think we are going to be at a brake even point soon.
In our suggestion box, I got so many notes from other regular customer who refuses to come on Thursday and Mondays because they say that it is like a playground and they can not have lunch. I was accused of discrimination of people who don't have kids and that I turned the entire place for kids and forgot about people who don't like kids so much.
If there was any way to keep the sing-along better managed or contained I would do it. I tried putting notes, signs, waitresses have been talking to parents, but nothing worked. I emailed Katie and I called her, but never heard back. I provided a space for her event where she had clients and made money, but I never had not even a thank you, which is OK.
Before canceling I searched for a place where Katie can move this sing-along and I found a place. It took me a month. I gave all info to Katie for I truly wish to assist her with moving her sing-along’s and I think she is very good at it and kids love her events and it is now up to her to do the Sing-along at the new place here in Windsor terrace. My friend owns this new space in the neighborhood especially for such kids events, I talked to her and she agreed to provide the same for very small fee as a favor; she was very willing to work with Katie and to invite a sing-along.
So I also do feel bad, and perhaps I should have handled this better and showed up and spoke with parents face to face and with Katie too and asked for suggestions.
For now I am down to one kid’s event on Wednesday that is small and chamber for little babies, 1 year olds, call the Music Story time.
The Monday sing-along was canceled by Yoshi himself since he had too many gigs and no time for sing-along. He asked me to email the list about it about a month ago.
Again I hope you can understand me if you were in my place and had to manage the cafe.
Please feel free to ask or to suggest I am always here to listen.
May be we can do an art class and minimize to 10 kids – 1st come 1st get a seat. I have a teacher who is interested to do this.
Sincerely
Sasha
Oak and Iris cafe