The Bamboozle !

“One of the saddest lessons of history is this: If we’ve been bamboozled long enough, we tend to reject any evidence of the bamboozle. We’re no longer interested in finding out the truth. The bamboozle has captured us. It’s simply too painful to acknowledge, even to ourselves, that we’ve been taken. Once you give a charlatan power over you, you almost never get it back.” 
― Carl Sagan, The Demon-Haunted World: Science as a Candle in the Dark


Ah yes, the Bamboozle ! We are so easily flim-flammed by people in power, by the controlling people in every day life, but worst of all, we bamboozle ourselves. There is little doubt and a plethora of evidence all around us of manipulators taking advantage of those would be victims who just find it so uncomfortable to admit to the fact that there is a dark side to people, and in some cases, very little conscience among those who can rationalize and justify taking advantage of the conflict-avoiding natures of the many. But back to my previous point that we bamboozle ourselves every day and in a way every bit as lethal and paralyzingly a by the hands of others.

I had a client just recently express his frustration over the fact that it is his own "Default Thinking" that keeps him from making progress in taking greater control of his life. He is so frustrated that he is stuck, trapped in his life by his fears and self-sabotaging negative thoughts. There is truly a dark side in our minds that feasts on every mistake we have ever made, every move that went bad, every relationship that soured, every effort that fell short of the goal. These negative thoughts become so habitual, that they so often develop into a pattern of avoiding challenge and change. 

I had been prodding and pushing my client for months to take steps to become more involved with groups and classes that I knew from our discussions were of real interest to him. Just maybe these events and experiences that could ignite some enthusiasm that would gradually come to the surface and just might encourage more faith and trust in himself that would lead to a more optimistic thought or two.  He finally went to the seminar and not only felt a little fire in his belly, but met someone that actually mentioned helping him get his foot in the door at his company. He felt some momentum building just being at the seminar as it stimulated some positive thoughts and feelings, but the chance meeting with this guy was like a gust of wind that filled his sails.

Then while at the seminar, he saw a professor from a school he attended previously, and that stimulated thoughts and memories of being told he had real promise in his field of interest. My client said to me, " I am thinking of calling that professor and asking him if he has any opportunities for internships, even volunteer work that would enhance my value in this field of study."

I pointed out to him that for weeks he has felt helpless and depressed at being stuck in a go no-where job, and when he finally took a step, he could feel a little electricity pulsing through his body. Taking a step outside his comfort zone was such a positive move, and it had allowed him to escape the gravitational pull of his negative, default thinking.

We manipulate and control our own destiny every day as we fall prey to our learned avoidant behavior, which is of course reinforced by our default, fear based thoughts like :

" Good things don't happen to people like me. "
" I'm not smart enough "
" What if I  fail that course ?"
" What if I cannot do the job well enough ?"
" What if  ....... ?

We are caught by our own bamboozle by telling ourselves lies that paralyze our future efforts. We have heard these negative, "Murhpy's Law" kind of thoughts rattle around in our private meanderings so often, that we believe them to be true. If we do not actively and aggressively challenge these thoughts, they become so much more powerful and deeply entrenched. As a result, we allow making a mistake  to mean we cannot do something rather than looking at what we have learned from the experience. We tell ourselves we are not smart enough even though hard work has led many a man or woman to loftier positions even without being geniuses. Good things can happen to people who do not give up and learn from their errors.
However, our default thinking is powerful as it grows in the fertile soil of our subconscious.

We again must challenge these thoughts persistently and consistently on a DAILY basis, and that means we must experience steps outside our comfort zone. At the same time, we must surround ourselves with like-minded and supportive people to help prevent us from sliding down that slippery slope that is always so close. It is only in this way that we  can break the shackles of our negative and sabotaging thoughts and the resulting self-limiting behaviors.

Until we do just that, until we believe in and trust ourselves, we are easy pickings for those who would manipulate and control us because they can. We are their pawns because we will not speak up or challenge them for fear of failure or rejection. Knowing that, manipulators will use shame, guilt and divide and conquer rituals to keep you from amassing any personal strength and energy. Turn on the news and take notes, it is happening every day.