0-16 Parade: Cleveland Browns Fans Celebrate Haplessness Saturday

CLEVELAND, OH — The Cleveland Browns completed the most ignominious two-year stretch of football ever last Sunday, finishing the 2017-2018 season with an "unblemished" 0-16 record. Over the past two seasons, the team has won only one game. Now, Browns fans will commemorate their misery with a "Perfect Season" parade.

At noon on Saturday, beleaguered Browns fans will march around First Energy Stadium, now locally known as the Factory of Sadness. In a twist that makes too much sense, one of the key financial supporters of the parade is Excedrin, the headache medicine.

"I urge you to come out on January 6th to show your support for our owner, Jimmy Haslam, and his entire front office for the product they put on the field every Sunday (not Monday night, of course, because we aren't good enough to get that slot)," Chris McNeil, the Perfect Season Parade founder wrote on the event's GoFundMe page.

The seeds of the Perfect Season parade were actually planted last season, when the team went 1-15.

Early on, when it appeared the Browns would stumble their way into an 0-16 record, McNeil quipped that he would throw a parade in the team's honor if they went winless. The team nearly did go winless and McNeil's joke morphed from Twitter joke to reality. There were even permits that got approved.

Then the team won a game and the idea was dashed — for a year.

Then the Browns were bad, again.

Historically bad, actually. McNeil told Patch that he thought the parade might be a real possibility again during the first quarter of the first game of the 2017 season. So he knew early on the team was bad.

The team fulfilled the promise of the previous season and went completely winless throughout the course of the 16-game season.

Now, the Browns are one of only two NFL franchises to field an 0-16 team. And McNeil is throwing a parade in Cleveland's honor.

Not Everyone Loves the Parade

Predictably, there has been backlash against an event that appears to celebrate the historic incompetence of the Browns. Former Cleveland cornerback Joe Haden called the parade "lame" in an interview with ESPN. JW Johnson, Haslam's son-in-law, asked fans to protest the "stupid parade" on Twitter. Michael Rappaport, an actor and sports commentator, said fans who attend the parade should be punished.

Browns fans themselves seem split on the parade. Some see it as a subversive way to stick it to franchise that seems forever mired in the basement of the NFL. Others see it as Clevelanders lampooning themselves needlessly.

Rules for Saturday's Parade

Whether you plan on attending the parade or being downtown to make fun of people that attend, here's what you need to know for Saturday, according to Cleveland Police.

• Open container laws will be "strictly" enforced, so don't expect a drunken stumble around the stadium on Saturday.
• Parking restrictions will be in place on Al Lerner Way between West 3rd Street and Erieside Avenue from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m.
• The full parade closure will occur no later than 11:30 a.m. from West 3rd Street north of the Route 2 Exit (north bound) and on Erieside (westbound) from East 9th Street.
• The loop around the stadium will be closed until approximately 1:30 p.m.

Photo from Rick Uldricks, Patch