This couldn't be 'burnout' ... my life is stress-free

Almost a year ago, I contemplated working from home. At the time, this was a truly revolutionary idea as the only other time I had not worked outside the home was when I was very ill after my son was born. A very social person, I feared (there’s that word again) the isolation. I also realized that my predisposition toward perfectionism and the (unusually) high value I place on efficiency could get out of control left unchecked.

A close friend had made the jump to work-from-home several years before and provided a sounding board for my concerns. While enthusiastic about the many advantages of working from home, she also warned me about “burnout.” She had been successful in convincing her employer to try out the online arrangement so there was additional stress to perform at a high level. After several months of working through lunch and breaks and ignoring the warning signs of fatigue, she recognized that she was pushing herself too hard. Thankfully, she was able to allow herself small pockets of time within the work day (as all employees must) in order to complete her work with accuracy and still honor her personal needs.

When I left my job to be a full-time stay-at-home mom, I figured this advice did not apply to me. I was not undertaking a career transition; therefore, my life would be stress-free. Yes, the kids would frustrate me on occasion, the house would need to be cleaned and dinners cooked, but honestly how hard could that be? I had been doing it all with the added pressure of a part-time job for years without difficulty (some would debate this last point, but unless they comment here I choose to ignore them).

I did not realize that I would jump into my “new” job with the same intensity and drive that I did when switching career paths from marketing to finance. In my quest to be “the best” stay-at-home mom (and what exactly is that?), I:

• read more than 30 books on various topic including education, domesticity, organization, blogging, simplicity, budgeting, grocery shopping, canning/preserving, healthful cooking for food allergies, fitness, happiness, parenting, positive discipline and entrepreneurship (because reading about it makes me an expert, right?)
• set up weekly playdates (for the lessons about sharing)
• took field trips to museums and attended plays (to introduce my children to art/culture)
• visited libraries in four different cities (the all important educational component), and
• watched potty training videos countless times (without success, I am disappointed to report). 

I’ve cleaned, vacuumed, washed, dusted and/or rearranged every room in the house and made innumerable meals from scratch.

So, where do I rate when it comes to my performance review? Yes, the knowledge is there, but do my actions warrant a raise or promotion? Absolutely not!

What I have come to realize is that the more I strive for the elusive goal of perfection, the further I fall behind. There will always be another load of laundry to fold, another crumb on the floor to sweep, another dinner to fix or book to read. I will never be able to keep up with it all.

But rather than focus on what I can’t do (an amazing skill I have perfected over the years), I am going to choose to focus on what I do well. And (as another close friend reminded me at a particularly low point) I am the person most qualified to mother MY children. I will stop doing and try just “being” for a little part of my day.

Can you relate to this desire to do something well (to the exclusion of your personal needs), whether in the board room, the classroom or the kitchen? How do you remind yourself of what is important at any given moment? What positive coping mechanisms have you adopted to handle tough situations?