Can I Handle the Seasons of My Life?

How many of us build our lives around our children, around our spouses or significant others? What do we do when they are gone from our lives, whether permanently or temporarily? When the children have grown up ... and move on to their own lives. When our marriage ends either by our choice or our spouse's choice? Do we have enough in our life to sustain ourselves when we have to go through these changes? Losing a spouse or loved one, watching our children grow up and move on, losing our parents, maybe even some of our friends. How do we deal with the inevitable, growing old and making changes in our life? Especially when we "build our life around you."

I have always had a lot of people in my life – friends, family, etc. that I can talk to and are there for me during difficult times. I had my first child at 19, so I really started my life with my family very young. I only knew how to be a wife and a mother – especially since I never had a "career." To be honest, I was a little worried that when my children grew up, I would not have any life left to sustain me. Luckily, I let me children have their freedom when they were teenagers and left for college, which helped in the transition of not being a "full-time mother." I watch many women who have such a hard time letting go of their children. They fall apart when their children leave home or even when they leave for college. Many have to start taking anti-depressants or even start therapy. They literally feel that their whole was being a mother, and that is why they cannot really handle their children growing up.  

To be honest, when my children left for college, I loved not having the pressures of taking care of young children anymore. I felt like I gave them the best childhood that I could, took care of them the best I could, and now it is time for me to enjoy my life. Maybe I am lucky to have so many great friends and family members to support me in my "old age" and I do not feel bored or lonely or unhappy. Maybe It was just time for me to move to the next "phase" of my life, but when I look back at raising my family, I think that I put in 100 percent of my time and efforts and love and now it is the time for me to enjoy my life. This may sound selfish or cold or mean, but when you have given so much of yourself to raising your children as a full-time career, you are entitled to retire after so many years, right? Maybe having a child with special needs that still needs my care made the transition a bit easier or smoother since, I still have somebody to take care of all the time? Who knows why some people take things better than others, how some people handle tragedy better than others, how some people handle change better than others. 

I know people who get divorced and take it in stride; they move forward and never, ever look back. Then, there are those who sit around and wish they had done things differently, they literally live in the past. Usually, when they find somebody else to love and to share their life with completely, they stop looking back. Unfortunately, many never move on in their lives and end up being alone forever, living in the past. I have learned that you cannot live in the past – the past is a great thing to reflect on who you are and how you got to that point in your life. I think it is important to "rehash" your mistakes and your glories, but using those memories to help you to be a better, happier person in the present. My cousin and I often talk about the past, childhood years, mistakes we made and it is very therapeutic. I do not look at these memories in a longing way, I look at them to help me to understand who I am today and how I became the person I am today. Yes, I'm getting older too but do not let "the ll bring you down."

Click here: Landslide by Fleetwood Mac with lyrics - YouTube