Ohio Biker Buried Upright on His Harley: Years before he died, Billy Standley planned out every detail of his funeral - having his sons build him a custom plexiglass casket, arranging for the funeral director to embalm him in a sitting position dressed in his biker gear and helmet on top of his beloved Harley. Now I fully understand the guy wanting to get buried on his bike, but come on - at this point in his life - is the helmet really necessary?
iPhone Catches Fire in Teen’s Pants: According to a Portland news station, a 13-year-old girl in Maine reportedly suffered first and second-degree burns when her iPhone caught fire in her pants. Some are calling Apple’s response of “liar, liar, pants on fire” somewhat lacking. To make matters worse, the hospital said that her injuries were not covered under AppleCare. In related news, the iTunes Store is offering a free download of Billy Joel's 1980's hit "We Didn't Start the Fire."
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BYU-Idaho Warns Students Against Masturbation Dangers: A motivational video released by Brigham Young University–Idaho has garnered attention online for urging students to identify friends they think are masturbating too much to religious officials, comparing the effort to rescuing a fellow soldier during war. The problem with that is, if you’re supposed to report anyone who’s masturbating too much, how are you supposed to figure out what’s the right amount?
Punxsutawney Groundhog Says Six More Weeks of Winter: Beloved groundhog Punxsutawney Phil has come out of hiding in Gobbler's Knob and saw his shadow, which forecasts another six weeks of winter. Phil’s predictions have taken on added importance this year in light of the fact that DirectTV has recently dropped The Weather Channel from its lineup.
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Toyota Halts Sales of Cars With Heated Seats: Toyota Motor Corp. has halted sales of some of its top-selling cars over concerns that their heated seats may be a fire hazard. Apparently when Toyota says their cars have “heated seats,” they aren’t kidding! Frankly, I don’t think car seat heaters should have settings like “simmer, broil and fry.”
Nazi Scientists Had Plans to Use Mosquitoes As Weapons: Newly found records suggest that Nazi scientists at the infamous Dachau concentration camp may have planned to use offensive biological warfare on Germany's World War II enemies by releasing malaria-carrying mosquitoes from airplanes. The project was abandoned after it became apparent that they could never provide swastika arm bands small enough to fit on mosquito legs.