The Wooden Spoon, Part 1

Growing up in my State Street neighborhood, I knew every home had its own way of disciplining.

My neighbor’s parents used a wooden spoon to correct behavior. My mother, on the other hand, preferred the correction tool God provided at the end of her arm. This was too convenient for my liking because, while my friend had time to flee as his mom searched for a kitchen utensil, my attempts to high-tail it from my mom proved futile, try as I might, one hand shielding my rear (not so smart, since a swat on the hand hurts worse than one on a more padded spot!).

This memory came back to me when I heard one of the parents at my North Canton WeJoySing class talk to her child about “The Spoon of Encouragement.”  Her look hardly matched her amicable (or was that saccharine?) tone:  “Would you like an encouragement? Perhaps two encouragements?”

I had to laugh. Apparently, her child was very encouraged to do what she asked, because the spoon never had to make an appearance.

The Good Book says if you “spare the rod” you will “spoil the child.” More interpretations exist for this phrase than the number of words that comprise it, and throughout the centuries, its meaning has been twisted by some.     

If the issue of spanking/corporal punishment makes you uneasy (it does me; I’m typing with one hand — covering my buns even as I write!) then perhaps you can think of the phrase in this way: “Those who love their children will not spare the rod of discipline, but will take care to correct them promptly, from a young age.”

I wish I could say I never spanked my children, but in truth I rarely spanked them, because I found other methods of discipline to be more effective. If a child has a high tolerance for pain — you know, the kid who has no idea where her scrapes come from — that child might actually prefer a spanking (quickly over and painless compared to natural or imposed consequences).

Though I’m not a proponent of spanking, I’ll admit I like the phrase “spoon of encouragement.”

A spoon can be used to feed, nourish, nurture. A spoon can also be musical, rhythmic. Did you ever try to play the spoons? Or create percussion with a wooden spoon on a pan? If you missed out on that, call your little ones into the kitchen. Make music! Experience the metaphor I’m creating here. (Post your photos on North Canton Patch!)     

Good discipline is like that, too: feeding, nurturing, even musical, setting our lives to a pleasing rhythm. Metaphors aside, in early childhood, actual music is one of the most effective ways to motivate a child and avoid punishment situations.  

Though punishment is sometimes necessary, it is not the only way to evoke discipline. Encouragement and positive motivation naturally lead to self-discipline. Isn’t that the real goal?  

 In the coming weeks, the series "The Wooden Spoon" will give (and ask readers for) ideas about how to motivate children in positive ways and provide effective discipline.