The Man Who Held My Heart in His Hands

Tomorrow I going to see the only person who has ever held my heart in his hand,  Dr. Morris at Abington Hospital. 

As you may know,  this blog started out as a kind of survival guide for survivors of cancer.  Of which I am one. 

I haven’t made an entry for some time now.  You see,  about five weeks ago I underwent open heart surgery.  Mitrol valve thing.  I’m okay,  recovering slowly but surely but I guess I can now apply for member of another survival club: The Zipper Club.

I guess I’ve had a pretty bad run of luck over the last eight years or so.  And tomorrow I have an appointment to see my surgeon.  From what I hear,  the guy’s a real virtuoso.  My cardiologist told me that the operation was not just a success but a work of art. 

I’ve had a heart murmur ever since I was a kid.  Got me out of the army.  But it was never really an issue.  I’d go to the doctor and they would mention it but there was never any concern and I just assumed that I would go on my merry way with this extra beat in my chest – a different drummer as it were.  Then … after a short stint shoveling snow,  I came inside and  … I could barely breathe.  I could barely walk up a flight of steps. 

From there it all went downhill fast.  I no sooner came back from a test to observe the gravity of my situation than I was admitted and on the fast track to getting’ my rib cage sawed open.

It was a difficult,  and painful,  and soul searching experience.  After all,  we’re talking about my heart here.  But from all this I learned what I think I always knew:  Surgery and medicine can only do so much.  We live in an age of miracles.  They saved my life but the heart is much more than a perpetual pump,  a mechanical muscle.

Without my wife,  my boys,  my family and friends,  those nagging nurses dragging me up and out of bed and all around the cardiac ward,  without their hearts,  my heart,  even with all the medical miracles,  didn’t have a chance.           

You can touch someone’s heart with words.  You can touch someone’s heart with actions.  You can touch someone’s heart with a promise or a song.  You can touch someone’s heart with visit and scones from New Jersey.  You can touch someone’s heart with something as simple as a smile.

But tomorrow I’m going to see the man who actually held my heart in his hands.

Wow!