Transformer Robot Moms

• Boil water for the oatmeal for the children
• let the dog out
• lay out clothes for the children
• make coffee
• make lunches
• get vitamins ready
• feed the dog
• throw load of the never ending pile of laundry in washer
• wake up family members
• tie shoes
• calm down screaming child that wants fruit loops for breakfast instead of oatmeal
• mop up spilt chocolate milk
• guide children to wash face, brush teeth, and get dressed
• get kids off to bus stop
• drop daughter off at preschool for few hours
• on way home, drop of husband's dry cleaning, stop at post office
• schedule children's doctor and dentist visits
• clean kitchen from the morning's tornado
• vacuum quickly throughout house
• pick up son at 12:00 at bus stop
• make lunch for son, do homework, and play and converse with him
• pick up daughter at 2:00
• referee children from 2-5
• make dinner
• take son to t-ball practice from 6-8 and entertain 4 year old daughter during practice
• make snacks for kids after t-ball practice because they are hungry again
• guide children to brush their teeth, wash face, pjs, and bed
• clean kitchen from dinner tornadeo
• feed the dog
• check email
• clean pee around toliet before bed from husband and son
• REPEAT for 5 days

This was my schedule for the past four years.  I became a transformer robot and did it well on the surface.  In fact, I was often commended because of my ability to balance everything on my own: my husband works a lot, his parents live an hour and half away and are not in the best health, and my family members live across the country.  Needless to say, I had no support system.  As a result of being a robot with no time for a tune up, I became angry and resentful inside...a decepticon.  I took care of all my family members, the house, the bills, and other responsibilities and let myself go completely.  I detached from Leslie and became a supercharged robot that ran nonstop and without thinking...especially thinking of myself.

Self care is a new topic for the American Culture and not really supported by many.  However, the importance of self care is critical and the stress of life, family, and the world has reached an all time high, leaving many women suffering with depression or at least very unhappy.  So what exactly is self care?

• Eating healthy and drinking plenty of water.  We often run around making sure all family members are fed and forget to feed ourselves. 
• Engage in some form of physical activity.  Take a walk, skip with the kids, ride a bike, or something you have not done since you became a wife and a mother.  I began to roller blade again last summer.
• Be aware of your limits before you become exhausted.  Learning how to say no was one of the most difficult things for me to do.  In fact, I still struggle with it, but if it is going to take time away from "me" time I have to say no.
• Keep in touch with your friends.  Make it a point to visit your friends, have dinner parties,  or go to the movies.  It is important to have healthy relationships and schedule non-child activities.
• Learn a hobby that you have always wanted to and just kept putting aside.  Knit, dance, cook, yoga, read, meditation, aromatherapy.  If you are waiting for your children and husband to give you permission to invest in self care...you may be waiting a long time. 
• Monitor your emotional bank account.  You need to be sure that you are making deposits that balance your daily withdrawals.  If not, you will become emotionally withdrawn.

My challenge to all women that read this article is to invest at least one hour a day to self care time.  You are not being selfish so don't feel guilty if you make yourself a cup of tea and read "Eat, Pray, Love" that you bought 3 years ago.  Cleaning the bathroom can wait!  If you don't invest in self care and love yourself, no one will.  You can't take care of others or love others until you love and care for yourself.  For example, my friend employed me as her Wellness Coach.  I have to admit, her life can be chaotic and they are planning a family vacation in a few weeks.  She asked me if we could start when she returned from her trip.  I said no and I'm making her give me a day this week when we can start her wellness program.  She has waited too long and if she continues to put herself on the back burner, she will continue to go down the spiral staircase.

Yes, I do practice what I preach.  On April 30th I attended "Mamas Make It Happen."  It was a Day of Inspiration for Happen' Mamas!  The day was filled with awesome workshops, yoga, meditation, massage, and a catered lunch by Balasia!  I didn't have to think or prepare my lunch.  I learned that it is ok to take time and separate myself in a healthy way from my children and that unhappy moms can't raise happy and healthy kids from the keynote speaker, Robin Black.  I learned about herbs for women from Charis Lindrooth, how to declutter my house and get organized in 15 minute intervals throughout the day by Lindsey Parks, and what to do when my kids drive me crazy by Shel Dougherty.  AHH...I feel inspired, motivated, and in harmony.  Thank you Laura Scappaticci and Tracy Beaky for forming Mamas Make It Happen!