Is That Child Dumber Than a Fifth-Grader?

By now, most of you have read about the teacher who .  Truth is, she simply said what many teachers have been feeling, though happy hour may have been a better venue than a blog.

Many aspects of the story are worth discussion, starting with the reality that if you, as a parent, are unaware that your child is not pulling their weight academically or are not behaving appropriately, then you are a big part of the problem.

Then there are the parents who do know what the score is in regard to their child, but choose to ignore it in order to concentrate on their tennis game.

Yet another set of parents are in denial.

And still others “get it,” but are just looking for a good argument as a release from the pressure of today’s world.

Me, I love my children and believe that they are basically good, but face it, they are kids and sometimes I don’t trust them as far as I can throw them. I know what I did as a kid. Good judgment is a hallmark of maturity. It takes time.

Parental ignorance of a child’s behavior crosses socioeconomic barriers.

Many families I deal with working as a school psychologist in urban schools are just barely scratching out a living. It is difficult for them to pay attention to something like a math grade when they are trying to figure out if they have enough food for dinner.

In my suburban neighborhood the story is much different, but too much affluence is not good, either. The parents buy their kids off and “stuff” reigns supreme.

That can be problematic because kids don’t know how to do without later in life. Children who are handed everything now may crumble when faced with the possibility that they can’t afford “everything” like their parents did.

They can start to think “I am not doing as well as my parents, so I am a failure.”   And unfortunately these kids sometimes take the suicidal route.

Most young people don’t have the ability to realize that there is a tomorrow and that even if your horrible, terrible, no good, very bad story (thank you, Judith Viorst) is plastered all over Facebook, by the next day, you are old news. Things will actually improve over time.

Years ago, parents could look forward to their kids actually being more financially stable than they were, but today’s economics tossed that paradigm into uncertainty. What I find is that those privileged kids don’t have a clue about what things cost or how to value something someone else has given them.

I was at the gym recently and heard a substitute teacher talking about two middle school students who have a very successful father known throughout the community. When she asked what they would eventually do with their lives, one boy replied, “I don’t have to do anything, my father owns and runs” such-and-such business.

On conclusion people want to draw out of this whole thing is that our education system is being broken and in need of an overhaul and our nation’s system has fallen hopelessly behind other countries.

That’s not based in reality. In China, for example, you do not have a decision to make. You are tapped out of the education lineup if you don’t have the proper lineage or aren’t the proper gender or just look more like farmer than lawyer.

Sure, their scores may be higher (and I use may very lightly), but that’s because not everyone is included in the pool because not everyone gets a shot at education, higher, lower or in-between.

Students must avail themselves of the opportunity presented by our system. If a student pays attention, does their homework and applies themselves and, maybe more importantly, the parents are on top of the situation, the system works just fine.

If you are still on the angry side of the discussion about the system, ask yourself what is missing. Wrap your mind around the word – Edcation. What’s missing? Yes, “u.” Stop complaining, get off the sidelines and be part of the solution.