Celebrate the Moments

As we conclude our yearlong look into Minds in the Making, a journey through the seven critical life skills every child needs, there are some dominant themes which have emerged. Aside from the seven life skills themselves, the prevailing message is that early childhood is merely the foundation of a lifetime of learning and a lifetime of parenting. While we have 18 years to raise our children, parenting continues and evolves for as long as our time together.

We live in a world and society where time is at a premium, and most of us book our schedules fuller than we can manage. This hustle and bustle of everyday life affects everyone in the family and is felt directly in our young children. With springtime upon us, now is an ideal time to pause and reflect upon celebrating and sharing the everyday moments. Numerous researchers have investigated the memories children in middle childhood have of their early childhood years (Quas and Fivush). Interestingly, most children recall everyday family occurrences, like Mommy helping make a snowman, Daddy reading to the class, eating at Grandma’s house every Sunday for lunch, and helping grocery shop every weekend. It is often these little everyday moments that we, as adults, overlook in our daily rush. So how can we celebrate the everyday and recognize these often overlooked memorable moments?

• Stop and really listen to what your child is saying. While this can be difficult early in the morning in the rush to get to school and work or in the evening in the rush to get dinner prepared, make it a point to pause, look directly at your child, and fully focus on their words.
• Be excited about what excites them. While we are used to seeing airplanes flying in the sky, the ants on the sidewalk, or the birds singing outside, these are new and exciting for our children. Stop and see the experience through your child’s eye and re-experience that same sense of wonder.
• Make family mealtimes a priority. The research clearly shows eating meals as a family with no television or phone call distractions has lasting effects on healthy eating, peer relationships, and behavior (Dunifon & Cook, 2012). It does not matter whether the meal is breakfast, lunch, or dinner, but the strongest effects are seen when families eat together uninterrupted at least once daily.
• Enjoy your child’s accomplishments today. While the preschool years are filled with immense growth and development, they also carry some challenges. We all have things we are looking forward to with our children—when they sleep through the night, when they can talk, when they are potty-trained, when they can write, when they can read, etc. At the same time, the preschool years are over far too quickly, and thus it is critical to stop looking so far ahead that we miss the beauty of today. Each child grows and develops at his or her own rate, and there is much to be celebrated every step of the way. Help your child value what he can do today without the pressure of tomorrow.

As the often quoted poem by Diane Loomans reads:

If I had my child to raise all over again,
I'd build self-esteem first, and the house later.
I'd finger-paint more, and point the finger less.
I would do less correcting and more connecting.
I'd take my eyes off my watch, and watch with my eyes.
I'd take more hikes and fly more kites.
I'd stop playing serious, and seriously play.
I would run through more fields and gaze at more stars.
I'd do more hugging and less tugging.

Lauren Starnes, PhD- Manager of Curriculum and Instruction