The Pirate Roadie

Roadies are pirates. I am convinced of it and, the bicycle makes for a perfect pirate ship. Ahoy mates, it us against them. Those big fast cars and pick up trucks and SUVs are out to get us - every last one of us. Sometimes I definitely feel that way. Especially when the muggles driving them don't behave nicely. 

Pirates are always wary. We believe in a meritocracy - stay alive by being really sharp, alert, quick, and able to maneuver. We live for the adventure, the ride is the goal. Arguh! Danger lurks everywhere. 

We learn to use the wind to our advantage, changing our rides to fit the prevailing breezes. We are masters at fixing our own machines and taking good care of them. Roadies ride well prepared to meet the challenges ahead. They don't complain about the hardship. They love exploring, seeing new places, meeting other pirates along the way. Each of us also flies under our own colors. Just look at all that neon spandex coming at you. It's great. 

While we don't plunder and steal from others, we do attack the road with a sense of abandon. Shushing down the hills in Birchrunville, riding through Spring City and Royerfsord, or gliding through Kimberton, we do keep our eyes out for road plunder. It's those things that miraculously appear in the road, tossed or lost by muggles mostly. Last week I found a useable Swiss army knife, abandoned. I have a whole set of finders keepers tools that I have collected over the years. Most times we just see litter: beer cans, McDonalds cups, you get the picture. We are a lot closer to the litter. We are going slower and we have a better sense of what is really out there.

There are dogs out there also. This is a topic for an entire blog article. Dogs are like the ships that try to sink us pirates. Dogs call for strategy and tactics. Most bikers have a strategy in their heads for dog encounters. It's primitive: fight or flight. Most times we flee. We are faster and we have the height advantage. Very infrequently we have to stop and give them a threatening broadside with a tire pump. That's when I speak Pirate. There is nothing funnier than seeing someone speaking Pirate to a dog. 

Pirates all have friendly "Ports of Call," places where we can rest up, or join with other "road Pirates." One of our favorites is Kimberton Whole Foods where they serve up some fine modern day pirate grub. We are off the rum these days, preferring green smoothies! For those who really want to make their tummies turn, there is always a cool bottle of Kombucha. Doesn't that sound "Pirate?" Now that will shiver your timbers.

Another favorite pirate hang out is You can see pirates from all over our vicinity at Henry's. This is fine dining offering exquisite selections from the sea. Best of all they speak "Pirate." Tell them that you are a Pirate and guaranteed you will have the wait staff and the chef all speaking Pirate to you in minutes. Henry's is great for an evening meal with your Pirate lover, or a family meal with your entire tribe! Henry's, like all great pirate hangouts, is BYO. Lock your bikes outside and ramble on in for a great meal. When you go in, look for the vintage Bridgestone Bike Poster on the wall! 

So if you are a roadie, you are a pirate. Don't fight it. Join with us mate. Get an eye patch to go with your wild colored Le Tour spandex tights. Just don't wear it when you ride. Stay loose, ride with passion, and work on your counter dependency issues in style!