De-Bunking Networking While Elevating 'Reciprocity'

We have all been at those repetitive, cookie-cutter networking events, which are more like a meat market than real business development or better yet, relationship development. Business cards are tossed around here and there, by the same folks that you have seen countless times, with a look of desperation and expectation.

It’s usually "speed-dating" without substance or even a next day, re-collection of the person you met and/or business they represent. The business cards pile up in a virtual "elephants' graveyard" and we wait for the next chamber/business association event or another networking group to pop up, to repeat the same empty routine.

Instead of joining another "networking group" or attending another "networking event," why not consider the benefits of "reciprocity thinking" which might provide lasting success on many levels.

By definition, "reciprocity" is the "practice of exchanging things with others for mutual benefit. A mutual agreement to exchange privileges, dependence or relationships," according to the Free Dictionary.

Arm yourself with the following "reciprocity" reminders, and it might be a healthier and a more sustainable approach to the "new" and "old faces" we encounter in a business development environment.

1) Think About The Other Person First—When was the last time that YOU referred and or recommended someone for a business opportunity or lead, without expecting anything in return? Or even a situation where both parties (including yourself) benefited?

2) When Did You Ever Receive a Referral—To be totally fair, you do have to think about self-preservation. Analyze in which networking environment did you get anything in return, of positive value, or meet someone that stood out as "thinking of others first?"

3) What is Your Order of Perceived Compensation or Hierarchy of Benefits—How do you view success, compensation levels and order of rewards? Basically, who benefits first, second and third on your business model? For instance, I take an approach that normally places the client first, my expert partner second and myself last. I don’t see this as coming in "last." I see it as being in the race to success.

4) Where Does the Client or Customer Stand—We all value testimonials, recommendations and approval for our work and accomplishments. Our relationships with our clients/customers is our bread and butter, our capital and our ticket to consistent success. This other barometer to evaluate as you encounter potential "partners" or "one-way" thinkers in business development scenarios.

5) Consider the "Social Agenda"—of people you encounter at "networking" events compared to maybe a "reciprocity based" environment. Ask probing questions which will reveal the values, motives and ultimate beneficiary (directly or indirectly) of investments made…in-kind, financial or emotional….by you and your "partners."

Yes, networking can at times be one-directional and not, very self-fulfilling for all parties. "Reciprocity" might be better suited in building partnerships that are symbiotic and longer lasting. Of more significance, our clients and customers will be better off in the long-haul.

"Grown-ups know little things matter….and that relationships are based on respect and reciprocity," Margaret Carlson, Time, 4 June, 2001. Not merely attending networking events, distributing a multitude of business cards at networking events and expecting miracles and business success without reciprocating in-kind.