Caregiving and Stress...

Ask everyone for recommendations of local home-care agencies and interview several of them before making your choice. Even if you can only hire someone for a few hours a day it will give you a few hours of peace-of-mind.

Accept help when it is offered, period.

Encourage your loved one to take care of themselves as much as is physically possible.

Know your loved ones medical history. Learn everything you can about medications, illnesses etc…

Create a list of where things are in the house in case of emergency. You want to list the location of the electric panel, the water shut- off valve, have an emergency contact list that includes family to be called (in order) doctors, plumber, electrician, preferred hospital,  medications, medical history, location of extra keys, pets names and schedules etc…

Know your emotions and take care of yourself. Do not try to do it all yourself out of guilt.

Read EVERYTHING before signing ANYTHING and if you have ANY questions have an attorney proof read it for you. Nothing is FREE, not even from the government. There are too many scams out there.

It is possible for you to get compensated for caring for your parents. Check with their medical insurance providers.

Take care of yourself. Eat healthy, drink enough water, take walks and get enough rest. Keep a journal and good notes.

Another way to alleviate some of the stress you may experience as a caregiver is to not cause your aging parent or loved one stress. I know you would never do that on purpose but it is possible to care too much. If they are feeling stress, you will be stressed.

If your aging parent or loved one does not want to eat, DO NOT ever force them to eat. When we get older our bodies get tired and slow down. This causes our appetites to slow down as well.  Older people sometimes prefer smaller meals or snacks throughout the day rather than larger meals. Does it seriously matter at this point if they eat ice-cream instead of broccoli? If it makes them happy and you less stressed why not?

It is not a good idea to insist they ‘go out’, exercise, or do anything they prefer not to do. If they do not feel like walking it could be because they are in some kind of pain and they do not want to complain.

Do not overwhelm them with large social gatherings. If they prefer not to attend a wedding let them stay home. Be sure to visit after the event with a doggie bag, photographs and video etc.

Keep visitors to small groups, especially if your loved one is hard of hearing. Large groups can be overwhelming where as a visit from one or two grandchildren can be a cherished memory that is a source of joy.

If they are refusing to take their medication start by alleviating what is unnecessary. Vitamins can be hard to swallow and harder to digest. Again at this stage does it really matter? Always speak to their doctor first and decide together what can be eliminated.

Watch old movies with them, listen to their favorite old music and let them tell you stories. The day will come when you will wish you would have listened to their memories.

Smile even when you do not feel like smiling.