Food is the Superficial Reason Behind Weight Gain

Hi everybody!

Another week has gone by in my quest to lose weight and gain donations for food banks around the world, so here's my weekly blog. Take a look at the attached video to see my results on the scale (it's good) and to learn a little more about my story. Each week, I begin my video blog by talking about my past or sharing some other aspect of my story.

Gaining weight, especially a large amount of weight like I have, is never about just the food. People like to mock overweight people with cracks like, "Put down the fork, fatty!" or give us advice about how they think we should lose the weight. The problem with their approach, aside from the obvious lack of boundaries, is that we already know how to lose the weight.

A lack of knowledge isn't the problem, nor is it a simple lack of willpower. There is a reason people eat or drink to excess over and over, usually subconscious forces at work and some sort of repressed issues. Unfortunately, the reason is not universal and we each have our own personal demons that fuel our harmful behavior.

My story isn't pretty and it's wrought with suffering and a slew of mistakes I have made throughout my life, some that affected me and some that affected others. I am certainly not a saint, I've done and said things in my life that will haunt me until the day I die. Those are my demons and I share my story in the hopes that I can help others who are dealing with similar issues. Ideally, I can help others as I help myself and in the process, gain some redemption.

When I started Donate My Weight in 2008, I was focused on the numbers and I used the knowledge that I was gaining donations with every pound I lost to fuel my weight loss. I never dealt with the reasons I had gained the weight in the first place or even considered them. It was all about the numbers on that scale and doing everything I could to push them farther down.

That perspective was reinforced by some of the people in my life, who chastised me for writing in my blog about things like panic disorder and my other medical issues. They told me that I was bothering people and nobody cared, they only wanted to hear about me losing weight. Some even told me I shouldn't write about mistakes on my diet and slip-ups with my workouts, because it was embarrassing.

I received supportive letters and e-mails every day, including many from people with panic disorder like me, who said I inspired them to seek help and made them feel like they were not alone. To me, that's what Donate My Weight was all about, helping people. However, I let those comments from people in my life really get to me and in the end, consume me.

It took me years to understand that the hurtful comments of others, along with the unsolicited advice about how much I should share with the world, was never about me. It was about the mindset of the people making those comments and their own personal own demons. When people talked about it being embarrassing, they didn't mean for me, they meant it was embarrassing for them through their association with me.

Well, I'm not ashamed of who I am and the aspects of my life that are beyond my control. I'm also not ashamed to admit my past mistakes and believe me, there's many of those. There are things that have happened in my life for which I feel great shame, but my disabilities and my military service are not among them.

Please don't misunderstand what I'm saying here. I take all the blame for gaining this weight in the beginning and for regaining the 100+ pounds I lost after I started Donate My Weight the first time. Support, or lack thereof, is a big thing, but I can't blame anyone else for my own shortcomings and mistakes. I gained the weight and now, I have to lose it.

I will continue to speak about my panic disorder, agoraphobia, depression, post traumatic stress disorder and anything else that I feel is important to share. I'm not looking for pity and I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me, we all have our burdens. What I'm hoping to do is show others who are dealing with the same problems that they are not alone. It's very hard for people to understand what others are facing and common for us to feel as if we are all alone in our suffering.

From my disabilities to my alcoholism and everything in between, it's all a part of who I am. If people want to support me, I am grateful to have them by my side, but if they don't, that's fine too. I have my wife and my children who support me and that's what means the most. I also have support from thousands of people who have been watching me on www.IAmDonateMyWeight.com and for that, I am very grateful.

So far, we have tracked visitors from 48 states and 28 countries around the world. The sheer size of things and the fact that people in Israel and Slovakia have taken the time to read about me and what I'm trying to do is tremendously humbling.

For those who missed my previous blog or have never heard of my Donate My Weight campaign, I am losing 230 pounds and for every pound I lose, I'm donating a pound to my local food bank. At the same time, I'm inviting others who are trying to lose weight, to donate their own weight to their local food bank.

A pound of food is about a dollar, depending on what food you pick to donate, and can do a world of good for hungry men, women and children in our communities. You can lose weight however you want, there's no special products to buy or anything like that, it's all about helping those less fortunate in your community.

If you have any questions about how to donate your weight, about the program itself or about me, please feel free to e-mail at DonateMyWeight.Ben@gmail.com