Cultivating an Attitude of Gratitude

Think about your day. Any day. Was it good? Was it bad?

Now that you have your answer, as yourself this: was I grateful?

There are countless studies that show how we feel about ourselves, our daily experience, and our lives in general is determined by our attitude. Are we impatient, nasty, jealous? Or are we grateful for what we do have. Yes, there’s a mountain of laundry. But that means our families have clothes to wear. There’s a giant pile of dirty dishes in the sink. But that means we had enough food for dinner. The living room needs to be vacuumed—again. But that means we have a roof over our heads.

Society does not encourage gratitude. At every turn, we are faced with can we get more/bigger/faster/sooner? Turn on the TV and you’ll see plenty of commercials prompting you to buy the next big electronic gadget that promises less work. Or to upgrade your Internet service for faster downloads.

There is precious little encouraging you to step back and be grateful.

Yet that ability—to appreciate what we have to give appropriate thanks for it—can make or break how we feel about our lives. Knowing how important it is, how do we teach our children to focus on being grateful?

Here are some tips.

1. Keep a gratitude list. In the rush and tumble of life, it’s easy to lose track of the things we can be grateful for. Set up a list where people can write the things that inspire gratitude. The nature of the list should make it easy to use, so whatever format works is good. You may choose a journal, a list on the fridge, or a calendar. Whatever is easiest for your child to organize his thoughts. Entries should be made frequently—daily or weekly is best.

2. Gratitude before meals. Before dinner, go around the table and have each family member say one thing that happened that day that she is grateful for. This doesn’t have to be super-formal, like a prayer. A simple one sentence comment is sufficient. “Today, I am grateful for the warm sun so I didn’t have to wear my winter jacket” or “Today, I am grateful for the man who held the door for me because my hands were full.”

3. Give back to others. We all benefit from other people’s work every day. That could be Grandma coming to babysit so Mom and Dad get a night out, or the crossing guard who helps children across a busy street safely on the way to school. Think about how you can thank these people. Again, it doesn’t have to be a big, fancy gesture. A simple “thanks for everything you do” card is often appreciated as much, if not more, than a grand act.

4. Pay it forward. This is similar to item three, but goes a little further. What can you, or your children, do to help someone else? Maybe the person behind them in line at the ice cream shop gave them the fifty cents they were short. Can you do that for someone? What about donating to a local soup kitchen by picking up an extra item or two when you go grocery shopping this week? Maybe your children have extra toys they no longer play with that can be donated to the family down the street who just lost everything to a house fire. Look around your community for ways to give to others who need a little boost.

No doubt, we live in a consumer-driven, “gotta have it now” society. One that can leave us more than a little frazzled at the end of the day. But if we can a moment to cultivate an “attitude of gratitude,” our daily frustrations will probably become a lot easier to handle.

Oakmont Martial Arts licensed by the American Taekwondo Association, the premier North American organization dedicated to the martial arts discipline of taekwondo. They offer training for young children (Tiny Tigers, 3-5), youth (6-13), teens and adults, as well as adult fitness classes. Visit www.OakmontMartialArts.com or their Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/ataOakmont) for more information, or call 412-826-8004 to schedule an introductory lesson.

A software technical writer by day, Mary Sutton is the mother of two teens and has been making her living with words for over ten years. She is the author of the Hero’s Sword middle-grade fantasy series, writing as M.E. Sutton, and The Laurel Highlands Mysteries police-procedural series, writing as Liz Milliron. Visit her online at www.marysuttonauthor.com.