Helping Children Cope In The Aftermath of School Violence

HELPING CHILDREN COPE IN THE AFTERMATH OF SCHOOL VIOLENCE

As parents, we are filled with feelings of fear, outrage, and sadness in these weeks following the recent school shooting in Parkland, Florida where 17 young lives were cut short. We are faced with the daunting task of hugging our children in the morning as they go off to school, helping them manage their distress, and containing our own emotions about their vulnerability. The “new normal” which we seem to be living in, is posing a tremendous challenge in all of our lives.

Our children look to us to help them feel safe, regardless of their age and developmental stage. Psychologists who specialize in trauma advise parents to use the upsetting news about another school shooting as an opportunity to talk with children about their specific worries and concerns. Finding a good time when they are most likely to talk and asking them directly about how they are coping with what they have been hearing can be effective ways of launching a conversation. Honesty is a very important component of these discussions. Parents should acknowledge that while bad things do happen, that there are many people working hard to use this new information to help keep them safe, including teachers, school administrators and local police. Exposure to news coverage of the recent shooting should be monitored and limited, as it can heighten fear and anxiety in both children and parents as well. Research has shown that this is particularly critical for younger children, who often believe that the events are reoccurring each time they see coverage of the same news story on television.

Children need to feel that home is a respite from the overwhelming events that have occurred around them. In the days and weeks following the traumatic event, children may need more reassurance from parents in response to their heightened anxiety. Maintaining normal routines is important and can provide feelings of comfort and security. Planning family activities can help children feel connected and anchored, in the midst of troubling times. For older teens, there are ways that they can get involved in advocating for changes in our laws, which can help them channel their feelings into efforts that feel meaningful and productive.

While many children will show resilience and will re-engage in their normal activities and routines fairly quickly, others may show symptoms of distress either immediately or after a longer period of time following the traumatic event. Parents should be aware of the signs and symptoms that may indicate that a child or teen needs an evaluation by a mental health professional. These indicators may include changes in school performance, school avoidance, changes in their typical way of relating to others, sleep difficulties, nightmares, physical complaints and loss of pleasure in activities.

The goal for parents is to help their child or teen express and process their reactions to the traumatic events in our midst. Children vary in their coping styles and some will be more expressive than others. Just knowing that parents are there for support, distraction or to help them get connected to a therapist for professional help will go a long way in helping a child deal with the aftermath of school violence.

Dr. Caryn Richfield is a licensed clinical psychologist practicing in Plymouth Meeting, PA. She can be reached at 610-238-4450 or at drcrichfield@aol.com.