After listening to the sermon in church on Sunday, I finally figured out why my ringtone is Miranda Lambert's Mama's Broken Heart. The scripture references were Genesis 32:22-31 (the story of Jacob wrestling with God) and Luke 18:1-8 (Jesus' parable of the widow and the unjust judge.) The point of the sermon was that we can be realistically and brutally honest with God because he is more like the widow seeking justice and is NOT an angry judge who condemns us when we struggle with things that keep us up at night like Jacob did. In fact, Jesus cried out to God while in the Garden of Gethsemane in Matthew 26:36-46, and probably screamed in pain when being crucified when he asked, "My God! My God! Why have you forsaken me?" in Matthew 27:45–46.
I truly do believe in a God who can handle my deepest heartbreaks that I cannot find the words for. So why do I have this particular Miranda Lambert song as my ringtone? I know it will sound cliche' to say this, but if I had a dollar bill for every time my mother told me to "suck it up and deal with it" just like the mother tells her daughter to do in the song, I'd be banking the royalties to "Mama's Broken Heart" every time a country radio station plays it. If you're not familiar with the song, here are the lyrics:
I cut my bangs with some rusty kitchen scissors
I screamed his name ‘til the neighbors called the cops
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I numbed the pain at the expense of my liver
Don’t know what I did next, all I know I couldn’t stop
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Word got around to the barflies and the baptists
My mama’s phone started ringin’ off the hook
I can hear her now sayin’ she ain’t gonna have it
Don’t matter how you feel, it only matters how you look
Chorus: Go and fix your make up, girl, it’s just a break up
Run and hide your crazy and start actin’ like a lady
'Cause I raised you better, gotta keep it together
Even when you fall apart
But this ain’t my mama’s broken heart
Wish I could be just a little less dramatic
Like a Kennedy when Camelot went down in flames
Leave it to me to be holdin’ the matches
When the fire trucks show up and there’s nobody else to blame
Can’t get revenge and keep a spotless reputation
Sometimes revenge is a choice you gotta make
My mama came from a softer generation
Where you get a grip and bite your lip just to save a little face
(repeat chorus)
Powder your nose, paint your toes
Line your lips and keep 'em closed
Cross your legs, dot your eyes
And never let 'em see you cry
(repeat chorus)
Seriously, who in their right mind wants to pretend they're just fine if your heart gets stepped on by a former spouse or dating partner? Then again, while the song lyrics may describe some not so great ways of handling a relationship breakup (or anything else in life, for that matter), the advice isn't exactly what I'd want to give people, either. Realistically, I'd probably tell someone it's ok to feel angry, sad, hurt, betrayed, outraged, and empty when something tragic happens to us. AND, it's definitely a good idea to get rid of things that remind you of painful times in your life and replace them with new memories. But I also would help a person find something more constructive to help them get through tragedy. Sometimes, it may mean seeing a counsellor or taking medication for depression, or sometimes moving to a new area, exercise, finding time for your favorite hobbies, and being in a supportive small group Bible study or church with other Christians who can pray with us and for s can help us move beyond the pain and live the abundant life Jesus promised us. There isn't a one size fits all way to get through the pain of life, but it is worth it to find ways that work for us and connect us more deeply to the God who knows and feels our pain. Thank you to the supportive brothers and sisters in Christ whom I can celebrate the joys of life with and hug each other tighter in the storms raging around us. You know who you are, and you know I definitely don't need to touch up my makeup to cover up any broken hearts. Well, then again, I think it was Minnie Pearl who said any old barn looks good with a little red paint, so pass me the lipstick!