Awareness

Last September, I found my son on the floor in his bedroom laying in bloody vomit. He was unresponsive, gray and his hands were purple. I think about the hug he gave me in the kitchen just hours before. He looked good, so tall and strong with those amazing blue eyes and incredible smile. “I love you Mom, get a good night sleep.”

My son was a normal boy growing up. He loved baseball, hockey and dogs. He had a smile that just made people feel good. He had dreams and was well adjusted. In middle school he was recognized by his teachers for his ability to persevere. Back then he told me he was the happiest kid he knew! So what went wrong? No one wakes up one morning and decides to become a heroin addict. No one. If telling my story helps just one other parent or child, then it will be worth the agony of sharing.

My son entered into high school at a time when drug use exploded in our school district and across the country. In 1998/1999 we had kids taken out of our high school by emergency officials because they were overdosing on dextromethropen (DXM) which is found in cough medicine. Drugs were being sold inside and outside of school property and not just marijuana. Students were huffing on school grounds, and one CHS honor student lost her life while huffing and driving her car. Another student died at a house party because of a mixture of clonazepam and cocaine. An explosion of drugs swept, not just the T/E area, but communities across the country. My son and his friends quickly got caught up in this frenzy. I listened to phone conversations between my son and his friends and I found out that they were using cocaine and OxyContin.

Meanwhile, one of the first drug surveys conducted by an Exton based non- profit group in 2001 included students in the T/E district. The results of the survey were published in the Suburban and Wayne Times on January 30, 2003. I was convinced that the survey didn’t reflect an accurate picture of the problem at that time, and it did not mention the use of OxyContin or cocaine. I was terrified, so I called the school district office and was referred to a member of ARCH. I told her my concern about the drug issue in T/E being greater than the survey disclosed, she said, “We know it is, but don’t want it to look that bad.”

At this time my son was a senior in high school and, unknown to me, he was already an addict. I did not realize how bad it was and how good he was at disguising his usage. I began knocking on other parent’s doors, hoping we could work together to keep our kids safe. I could not get much support. Even though some of these parents had the capacity to make a difference, they chose to ignore it. I was afraid to talk to the police because I felt my son would end up in jail, and I did not have the resources to hire expensive lawyers. Many of my son’s friends had access to money and were able to buy drugs. Years later I discovered that some of the kids, including my son, sold marijuana to pay for their drug use. My son graduated high school in 2003 at Villanova University. His picture was on the front page of the Suburban. He never had a chance to realize his dreams.

I wish I knew then what I know now. The kids were smart and able to hide so much. Not until I watched a 20/20 program on OxyContin did I understand what it was, and what potentially abusing OxyContin could mean. This led me to take my son to see a doctor on the Main Line who specialized in addiction. My son minimized the truth about his OxyContin use, and we left that doctor’s office with the idea he could stop using on his own. I remember feeling relieved and wanted to believe my son would be okay. The truth was chewing, crushing, or snorting OxyContin was as dangerous as using heroin. In 2007 OxyContin was reformulated due to a 600 million dollar law suit. Later my son shared with me that those who were addicted to oxy in our community then resorted to Percocet and, for my son, eventually heroin.

Shortly after my son graduated he moved out of my house into the Berwyn Main Line Apartments. He never acted like a monster or to my knowledge stole one cent from anyone. He had jobs and worked hard. He was able to maintain his appearance and function throughout his twenties although he suffered from a serious disease. Part of his denial was his belief that as long as he could smoke his pot, all would be fine and he could control his opiate addiction. Eventually the disease won and the last 2 years of his life were hard. Painful things were said. I told him, “You just want to keep your foot in the drug world,” and “You care more about being high than your family.” I tried desperately to get my son into a rehab and even then I did not realize I was angriest with my son when he was trying not to use. He would be moody and avoid us. He would tell me you don’t understand, and I didn’t.

This is the evil about heroin; it just makes you feel amazing. Unlike other drugs that can leave you hung over, heroin steals your normal ability to feel happy without it. Recovery does not come easily. The OxyContin wave of opiate addiction in combination with the mismanagement of narcotic pain medication became a dealers dream come true. As long as the demand remains high our young people remain at risk.

My son, like many others, got sick from his own negligence as a young high school student, but it also occurred on my watch. My life has revolved around Alzheimer’s, autism and addiction for the last 14 years. The first two I cannot control, but the later I can help to prevent by sharing my story. We have many who are still fighting addiction in our area. My hope is that our community can take a strong stance and start to eliminate the problem by helping those who are addicted and preventing any others from becoming addicted. I firmly believe the only way to accomplish this is to make every parent of students entering high school aware that their children will be exposed to drugs, including opiates, and other students who are struggling with addiction.

I am angry for so many reasons. I am angry that drug usage in our area was minimized by our school district and community because it is more important to have students go to an Ivy League school than to save lives. I am angry because my own son minimized his usage and addiction when we sought professional help, and the doctor allowed us to believe he could handle it. I am angry that the drug company minimized the effects of OxyContin and allowed thousands of young people to become addicted before they made changes to the formulation. I am angry at myself because I was powerless to save my child. I am angry that people are not talking about this horrible issue and trying to work together to eradicate opiate addiction. I think about how much news coverage and world interest disasters such as the BP oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico receive. How can we care so much for the environment, yet turn our backs on the most important resource of all, our young men and women?

In an article printed in The Patch on May 17, 2015, it was reported that seven Pennsylvanians die from heroin or prescription drug overdoses every single day. I wonder, however, if this terrifying statistic understates the extent of the problem. Although my son used heroin the night he died, his death was recorded as “a combined drug interaction”, not an overdose. How many others have died from opiates without having them recognized as the cause of death? There are several parents in my support group who lost children in their late twenties and early thirties. There are also some who lost children in their early twenties. Opiate addiction is not going away. A problem cannot be solved unless it is first acknowledged. I am pleading with parents to wake up and start talking about the heavy toll opiate addiction is taking in our community and across the nation. We can find a solution if we are honest about the problem and work together.

Judy DiClementi