'Joyful Noise' Praises God, Lacks Sizzle

What is your “Joyful Noise?" Maybe it’s the laughter of your child in the morning or the crack of a beer being opened on a hot summer day. (No judgment.) In the context of the maudlin film of the same name, now boring audiences around the nation, it’s the sound of a passionate choir praising God.

If “Glee” and “Sister Act” had a baby girl and sent her to Bible Camp, the result would be “Joyful Noise.” Unfortunately, this Queen Latifah/Dolly Parton venture boasts neither the comedy nor the whimsy of those two former hits, and without them, it’s nothing more than a Lifetime movie with a bigger budget and non-Canadian actors.

Vi Rose (Queen Latifah) is a mom raising two kids on her own. Her son suffers from Asperger’s, a form of autism, and her daughter, 16-year-old Olivia (Keke Palmer), is suffering from a severe case of pouty teen growing pains. When her church’s choir director moves on to that big church in the sky, Vi is tapped as the new number one, much to the chagrin of widow and Rich Lady of the Town, G. G. Sparrow (Dolly Parton).

Naturally, a stranger rolls into town (a la Kevin Bacon in “Footloose”) – G.G.’s grandson Randy (Jeremy Jordan) – and shakes up more than just their line-up. Blah blah blah mother and daughter fight, blah blah blah, HRH Q.L. and Dolly fight, blah blah blah monologues about Jesus.

The entire film feels like something a student would write. The plot follows a numbing, predictable arc and the dialogue relies much too much on what I can only assume are common Southern sayings.

“There’s always free cheese in the mousetrap, but the mouse there ain’t happy.”

OK.

In fact, with the exception of the grand finale – which is done mash-up style, very “Glee” – a few pitch-perfect one-liners delivered by Ms. Dolly, and a fiery monologue by Ms. Latifah, there wasn’t much sizzle, excitement or, I’ll say it, joy to be had in “Joyful Noise.”

Save your $7.50. Just go to church.

Catch it at:

* The Regal Cinema at 1 p.m., 4 p.m., 7:15 p.m., 10:10 p.m.

*  in South Whitehall at ‎‎1:30 p.m., ‎4:20‎ p.m. and ‎7:45 p.m.‎

* The  at the Promenade Shops at Saucon Valley at ‎‎12:55‎ p.m., 4:40 p.m., ‎7:30 p.m., 10:15 p.m‎.