Summer Break Can Mean Behavioral Changes

Most kids can’t wait for summer break. Visions of swimming, catching fireflies, picking raspberries and eating juicy watermelon come to mind. The countdown begins somewhere around April. (And I know it does for all you teachers, too!)

“Less than 100 days ‘til summer!” can be seen on countless Facebook statuses across the land.

But something’s been a little different in our household. For the second year in a row, we’ve noticed a distinct difference in our older son’s behavior as soon as school comes to an end.

At first we didn’t realize what was causing the behavior change. Now facing it for a second “season,” it’s become apparent that this transition into summer is having an impact on him, and it's not a good one.

This month, Addison, 9,  finished third grade on a high note, bringing home a terrific report card. He seemed excited about the freedom of summer.

But as happened last June, just a few days into the summer break he became easily agitated, aggressive with his brother, and seemed somewhat depressed at times. We worried about him. This wasn’t the kid we knew.

We don’t live in a neighborhood with children playing in their backyards every day or riding past on their bikes, but that never seemed to bother him. His dad is a teacher, so he has the summers off too. The two of them have always been inseparable.

We live on a mountain with acres of free space to play, woods for forts and the pool just a short walk away. We spend hours and hours of quality time together. It’s always been OK that way.

But in the past two years, it has become clear that Addison needs something more at this time of year.

He’s entered the next phase of childhood. He wants independence to play and build relationships with peers his age. Playing with dad is fun, but things are different now.

He wants more.

He wants to swim and play kickball … but not necessarily with us. He wants to maintain those school friendships all year long.

I believe it’s the lack of those daily school relationships that’s making him feel the way he does right now. I wonder if other parents have seen similar behaviors, and if this is the age at which things change.

When I asked him what he’s feeling, he said he feels “a little sad,” primarily because he misses seeing his friends every day. He also recognizes that something is happening inside of himself. He's just not satisfied with the way things have always been.

With an impending vacation, Vacation Bible School, and other fun summer plans, I’m hoping this will pass over. And of course it’s always possible to organize get-togethers so the “pals” can catch up through the summer.

A new parenting challenge ... just when we thought we were starting to figure things out.