Some of the most popular posts I've written have been about online dating. I think that's because people can't stop themselves from watching a train wreck. Women actually ask me for advice on which sites I recommend! The answer is "none" but I do have opinions (imagine that?!) on the characteristics of some of the sites I "tested." Keep in mind though, there are sites for every lifestyle and, um, fetish.
eHarmony. Don't waste your money. This is the site that begins with a "compatibility test" to help you find your "perfect mate." Really? My perfect mate? Because according to that test, apparently the perfect mate for a 5'9", college professor who likes to travel is a 5'6" semi-literate, auto mechanic who (proudly) has never been beyond a 100 mile radius of Fall River, Massachusetts. It was sadly comical in a White Goodman/Kate Veach in "Dodgeball" kind of way to see who my personality test paired me with.
White: I think we should mate?
Kate: What?
White: Go on a date. We should go on a date sometime.
Kate retches, then forces it down
White: Are you okay?
Kate: I think I just threw up in my mouth...
J-Date. Yes, this is a site to meet Jewish singles and I'm not Jewish, but "word on the street" is that the chances of meeting a professional person are higher at this site. There's no "requirement" that either men or women be Jewish to sign up. I must admit, I met lots of very intelligent, professional men on this site. The only thing they were missing was a personality. This is the later-in-life nerd lunch table.
Match.com. Martha Stewart's dating site of choice, which is somewhat understandable as Match is where big egos seem to reside. The men on this site are the most likely to want to "interview" you to see if you fit their needs. The men on Match also seem to spam messages out to women, messages that make it clear they hadn't even bothered to read your profile, they just looked at the pictures. (Hi, my name is Bill and I know we would be a match because I am looking for a homebody, someone to take care of me and who can be my Princess, just as you describe yourself. Huh?) And you might get spammed with the same message a couple of times...
OurTime. OurTime advertises itself as an online dating site for men and women over 50. Through what I can only assume to be a computer "glitch" though, the daily "picks" sent to me once included a fair number of women's pictures. I got to "look behind the curtain." Not only was I surprised to see women, I was even more surprised to see pictures of 30 year old, pouty, and very busty women -- basically the pictures you see in advertisements for Russian brides. But how did they get on this site you ask? The same way 30 year old men get access to women asking to meet men in their 50's -- they lie.
Plenty of Fish. If you're going to jump in the shark tank this is, in my opinion, your best bet. First, it's free, whereas some of the other sites not only charge, but charge ala carte (oh, you want to be able to read messages sent to you...that's extra) and exorbitantly. And, the same men are often on many sites. At POF, as it is referred to, I did have several men contact me who, it turned out, were as young as 33! That individual basically said he had lied about his age because he really "had a thing" for older women. No, no, no.... mommy is neither going to buy you dinner nor listen to you whine. If you are willing to sort through "the kids" though (or maybe give it a try?), you will find the same men you'll find on other sites.
And you better have a lot of time on your hands. If you are sent a message and don't respond pretty much instantly, you hear about it. One individual told me that clearly "I didn't have time to date," because I kept him waiting 24 hours for a response.
There are nice men at these sites, and I know one (but just one) smart, intelligent, attractive woman who met a smart, intelligent handsome man who -- even after several years -- has not turned out to be a Broken Toy. It also took her several years to find him.
But for the most part, if you have any kind of a personality, a career, a life of your own, or opinions, unless you are ready to "settle", chances of finding Mr. Right at one of these sites is about the same as winning the Mega-lottery. Good luck with both!
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