A Mom's Middle School Anxiety

So I went to middle school orientation last month, and I learned two things; that (1) I apparently need new glasses because the screen was blurry from the back row of the auditorium and (2) I should start on a daily regimen of Xanax now.

It all started out fine with the principal talking about how wonderful the school was and how he felt like his job wasn't a job at all (to which I am jealous because I want a job I love so much it doesn't feel like work) and sunshine and roses, and oh good, I already can tell I'm going to like this school.  Then after he starts talking we go to the assistant principal who starts talking about how this school is a "high-achieving" school, and I'm all like oh yeah, my daughter's college resume is going to look wonderful with painted roses around the word "high-achieving" school.  I settle in for a good listen, as good as I can settle into this hard wood chair that barely fits my adult-sized bottom.

Suddenly, and out of nowhere, I'm slammed straight up in the face with acronyms for which I can't remember what they stand for now because I'm trying to take notes on my iPhone because I know I won't remember all this in five minutes.  So we move past the acronyms, for which I will find out later the meanings, to the math, the dreaded math, and how the entire school-based curriculum is being overhauled, and oh would you look at that, it's going to take effect right when your gloriously barely-hanging-onto-math child will be entering the 6th grade.  I sit up straight feeling my heart in my throat and get all teary eyed.  What am I getting myself into because as the world of homework sits right now in 5th grade, I don't do a whole lot with my daughter, not because I don't want to (well, that) but because I don't have to.  She's totally got her act together.  I check in with her teacher when need be.  She's got a grasp on her math now.  She turns her stuff in on time.  She's excelling in almost everything, and I'm a happy camper. Apparently, this is all coming to a screeching halt next year as the math teacher who is speaking up at the podium is speaking in a tone that scares me, a mom who hasn't entered a middle school in so many years I've lost count.

I sit up straight in my hard-as-brick chair and look around at the other parents' faces.  Clearly, from the way I see it, I am the only one concerned about anything middle-school-related.  I start sweating and panting (or at least I feel that I am), and thankfully, these teachers start talking about the amount of time these wonderful teachers put into tutoring before school, after school and even have classes during the daytime for tutoring.  I start to relax a little more when they tell me that they have this new (for me it's new) system at this grade level where every parent has a code and access to the child's grade and homework daily.  Ooh yeah, I got this I say to myself, and then I think -- how am I going to remember to check the program every day when I, more often than not, forget to change the toddler's diaper until after the fact.

*breathe in, breathe out*  I leave befuddled and fumble for the keys to my car as if I had been drinking for the last hour-and-a-half only to be greeted at the door to an excited almost-6th grader asking all sorts of questions and has all sorts of giddy smiles on her face.  I look at her like I do about 90% of the time with a smile that hides my nervousness and say, "You're gonna love this school," and I go grab a wine glass and shakily pour myself some wine and write myself a note to call the doctor tomorrow for that prescription of Xanax that I am going to need pretty soon.