Teach Your Kids Not to Hate - Today is a New Day

When my teenager saw Make Love, Not War on a t-shirt, she thought it meant something dirty. Of course, being the mom that I am (this is the daughter who asked me to explain a scene from a book depicting oral sex, ahem), I had to explain the deeper meaning. In doing so, I realized today’s youth are bombarded with negative images of violence, death, destruction and hatred. Maybe this is Parenting for Dummies 101, but I think kids need to see and hear real messages of love and acceptance in order to have hope that the world can be better, that good does win over evil, that life has a purpose.

Society these days is so negative.

Has is always been this bad? I don’t think so. I can remember a day when words like hell and ass were bleeped out on television (we had rabbit ears too). Take the Presidential election and the media in general. There is more time spent on hype, name-calling, re-writing history and predicting the future than on anything positive. If we watched the news alone, the world is a dark and depressing place. There is literally only one positive news story in the last three minutes of one evening news station. What a warped view of our times!

So what is a parent to do?

Where can we find the positive and how can we teach our kids love instead? This is not meant to be preachy in any way, but here goes. It’s up to parents, not schools, to teach love over hate. Schools help, but you are your kids’ first teacher, so listen up.

Start in your own family life.

Look at your own self as a role model of love, acceptance and tolerance of others. How are you doing? Are you accepting of your family, friends and neighbors who are different from you? Who disagree with you? Have you ever had a conversation with your kids about choosing friends at school or about being kind to those who might not deserve a smile? Try opening the lines of communication with your kids and see if you can live “The Golden Rule” a little bit yourself.

Okay, so you are going to work on being a positive role model in your family. How about looking for some positive in your own community?

Are there volunteer opportunities for you and/or your family? Helping can actually be fun. What about making donations to a local charity or actually putting in time for a worthy cause? Your local church or community organization is a great place to start teaching your kids ways to have a positive impact on the world. You don’t have to give a lot of time or money to show your kids small ways of helping can have a great result.

Speaking of faith, attend a local house of worship.

Maybe even try one you have not attended before or one of a different faith. Don’t take this to mean you should switch to one religion or another, but you may discover similarities you didn’t know existed. Also, it’s a great way to overcome personal prejudice with people you may pass on the street or work with every day. Faith, no matter which religion you practice (or not) is more about belief in the power of what is good and right than it is about who is better or more right.

Expand your horizons.

Learn about other people, places, countries, cultures and languages with your kids. Participate in some missions work with your church, host a cultural exchange visitor or research your family history and cultural heritage together. Talk to elders in your family, church and community. We can all learn about our past and even learn to appreciate the differences that make us unique but still connected as people. This new age will be a global one, no matter who is President of the United States, so help your kids see that all have value.

It’s easy to laugh at the news or poke fun at others, but it is teaching a dangerous habit. Be conscious of how you speak and act, not just in front of your kids. I am known to tell my kids the world is full of people just waiting to be mean to them (no, not to scare them) in an effort to minimize the meanness to each other. I want them to grow up to empathize with others, help when and where they can, to really make the world a better place. Will they solve world hunger? Negotiate world peace? End cancer? Maybe, maybe not. But they will not add to the hatred and violence on my watch, and I hope not on yours, either.