Devotion

What does it mean to be devoted?

In my mind, the word devotion conjures up these images of romantic love, little hearts floating around starry-eyed cartoon characters who float in the direction of their beloved.  It’s blind faith and total surrender to that which one is devoted.  In truth, it makes me feel a little icky, and a little suspect of the devotee.

In the past few weeks, I’ve been anticipating the start of my year long 500-hour teacher training with excitement, fear, enthusiasm, and wonder.  I am so looking forward to plunging in as a student.  In my work with Bristol Yoga Studio as its director and as an instructor among a truly amazing group of teachers, it’s tough sometimes to surrender into student role.  When I am in a yoga class as a student, I can’t help but make mental notes about how a teacher does something particularly well so that I can learn from them how to be a better teacher.  I won’t say that becoming a teacher has ruined yoga for me, but it has definitely changed my relationship to yoga in many ways. 

Bristol Yoga Studio opened in 2007, a year after my formal yoga training concluded.  I partnered with a more experienced teacher to bring yoga to our local community.  Since then, I’ve worked consistently to serve the studio’s mission: more yoga to more people, and helping people along their path to find what works for them to use yoga as a tool for a fulfilling life.

Since completing that 200-hour training, I’ve attended many workshops, weekend (and sometimes week-long) events to continue my training as a teacher and practitioner.  This next phase of teacher training is next natural progression for me as an instructor, and as a yogi.  But it’s profoundly different than a weekend or week-long session in that it requires true devotion.  It’s not just a weekend – it’s a year.  For the next 12 months, I’ll spend one weekend a month deepening my practice, honing my skills and integrating yoga even more into my life.

This is all made possible by incredible devotion of my husband, who really couldn’t be more supportive of this decision.  It’s also fueled by the devotion of our community of yogis who come regularly to BYS to support its mission and deepen their own experiences.

As I’ve considered devotion over the past few weeks, I’ve come to realize that devotion isn’t just some soft and sweet floating starry-eyed experience.  It requires courage, and real love and commitment. Not unlike what I’ve offered and received from our community at Bristol Yoga Studio already. Not unlike what I’ve offered and received from my husband and kids.  Devotion is work:  it means moving forward when you’re tired, finding a way to get completed what is needed.  It means listening deeply, without preconceived notions to what the outcome might be; it means speaking your mind and being honest with yourself and your beloved.  Devotion is being willing to rest and wait and watch and to not force, but to stay and allow.  It’s a brave move.  It’s eyes wide open and feet firmly planted.

What are you devoted to?