Marriage Ruts

This piece is reposted from the blog My Two Cents: Thoughts of a Small Town Therapist.

Jakey and Edwina were married for twenty years, when they simaltaneously realized they were in a rut.  They loved each other, but were they in love?  Things felt flat, familiar and unexciting, like seeing your sister at breakfast when you're ten.  Was marriage suppose to be like this?

 This is a familiar scenario.  Many couples have basically sound, contented marriages, except that it feels like roommates.  No spark, little intimacy, too many nights watching Seinfeld reruns and going to sleep early.

 The way out of this is straightforward.  Start dating!  (Each other of course.)  Get out at least once a week, just the two of you.  You don't have to break the bank.  Just get out of the house and have fun.

 People fall in love again the exact same way they fell in love the first time.  By creating the conditions (focused one on one quality time aka a date) that are conducive to generating warm feelings.

 Hurry, there's one more reservation available at that new restaurant in town.