The Ice Cream Man: Menace or Memory Maker?

in Just-
spring when the world is mud-
luscious the little lame baloonman 
whistles far and wee 

and eddyandbill come 
running from marbles and 
piracies and it's spring 

when the world is puddle-wonderful...  

-- ee cummings, "In Just"

After a long winter, is it any surprise to see people so celebratory toward the arrival of spring? Tiny green buds emerge shyly from bare tree branches, the purple heads of crocuses persistently push through newly softening soil, and if you're living in East Greenwich, you might just be one of the die-hard ice cream fans waiting patiently for Hill-Top to open its windows for the season in mid-March.  

Ice cream. What is it about ice cream that makes adults think of the simple pleasures of childhood while eating it and children think of ... well ... how they lucked out to get some? For me, the long hazy days of summer meant my hair would smell of chlorine and salt, my skin would brown like a toasted walnut, and my fingers would forever be sticky from the rocket pops and chocolate ice cream cones I would get from the ice cream man. Bliss, personified.

Recently, in Brooklyn's Park Slope neighborhood, a group of parents have decided to place a ban on ice cream trucks parking themselves in front of Prospect Park. While some parents feel the presence of the ice cream man is no big deal, the majority of these Park Slope parents interpret his existence as undermining their parenting choices. "One of the vendors just handed my 4 year old an ice cream cone. I was furious," says one mother. The biggest issue these parents have, however, stems from the notion that once the kids see there's ice cream, a simple day at the park becomes not so simple. According to one mother, "When my kids see other kids get ice cream, they just start begging me." Another mom states, "My son and I had our first ruined day at the park."  

According to these parents, the sight of the ice cream man draws children to demand ice cream and, should their parents say no, their children "throw tantrums." Says one mom who frequents the park with her child, "I just don't think these are the fights we should be having." In simpler terms, the ice cream man makes it challenging for parents to say no and feel okay with that. So, the problem is not with the ice cream man. The problem is with parents not feeling comfortable with saying no and their children actually listening to them. 

According to the website webmd.com, under the topic of "Preventing Temper Tantrums in Children," there are several ways to prevent such fights before they happen and to deal with them in such a way that doesn't undermine a parent's authority: (1) Make sure your child is well rested and fed before you go out so he doesn't blow up at the slightest provocation. —  I would even go a step further here and BRING snacks that you preapprove. If the child wants ice cream, simply refer them to their snacks and remind them that today is a day they have their snack from home. Period. — (2)  Give your toddler a little bit of control. Let your child choose which book to bring in the car or whether she wants grilled cheese or PB&J for lunch. These little choices won't make much of a difference to you, but they'll make your child feel as though she has at least some control over her own life. (3) Pick your battles. Sometimes you can give in a little, especially when it comes to small things. — What about saying yes to the ice cream sometimes? After all, what's the harm in a special treat from time to time?

This last bit of "expert" advice reminds me of the simple pleasure in hearing the ding ding ding of the ice cream truck as it slowly drove through my neighborhood as a child. If I lived in an area where the parents banned this sound, would my childhood summer memories be any less meaningful? Probably not. But they certainly wouldn't be as sweet.