"Welcome to My Jungle, And Other Fine Divorce Tales"

I want to let you know upfront, before we begin our relationship, that in April, my entire life changed from three words that I never thought I would hear: "Kara, it's over."

Me: "So what you are saying to me, if I heard you right, is no more us, no more someday we'll get to travel alone, no more growing old together, no more everything that we worked for together for 19 years will pay off, no more fighting and making up; no more introductions as husband and wife, no more dreams of sitting together holding hands as our last child walks across the stage and receives her college degree; and no more supporting each other as we settle into the next phase of our lives as Empty Nesters???????

You, the reader: Close your eyes and imagine that you are standing on a rug while someone comes from behind of you and rips the carpet out from under you. Poof you're standing on a bare cold floor. No magic carpet ride, no preparation, no more being someone's half.

Warning: If you choose to follow me, I recommend that you have someone secure you tightly in a chair, put a helmet on your head, and don't forget your life jacket. Think George-Jetson-on-steroids kind of trip or, if you prefer, we can call it a journey.

Scene One: Delusion. I'm going to close my eyes and wake up in a hospital room and everyone who I love will be leaning over me while my husband says in a soft voice in my ear (not the right one, the left one), "You were in a coma ... bad accident ... baby. It was all a bad dream, welcome back." Okay, so I used the word 'baby' and my husband never called me baby. It's my blog - I can write what I want.

Scene Two: Shock. Wait!!!! What about Disney World? Where's my trip to Disney World? I want to eat frozen bananas as a family, wear silly hats with ears, and vomit after the tea cup ride. I'm yelling in my kitchen (children are at playdates): "But we kept saying 'next year' five years ago! It's next year now. Where's my trip, where the hell is Mickey Mouse? I want to hug Pooh, I want to see my children eyes' light up, I want to buy all the Disney cr@p, and eat funnel cake. WHERE'S MY TRIP TO DISNEY AS A FAMILY, AS A UNIT?

Scene Three: Intervention. Friend comes over, takes me upstairs to my room, and says, "Don't worry, Kara, we can all go to Disney World together." But I tell her, in between yells and sobs, "I want my family. I want to hear my husband get upset over the outrageous prices of everything, I want to hear my children fight because they are cranky and tired from walking too much. I want to see Prince Charming in tights (don't tell my kids that one.) Where's my TRIP!!"

The stage goes dark. Scene over - cut. Stay tuned.

Take care, Kay