Schilling and Parents Talk about Life With Asperger’s

A calming mood overcame a packed Tiverton High School auditorium on Wednesday night after a notable guest speaker opened up about her family's experience with Asperger's Syndrome. While touting her newfound work to raise awareness about the autism spectrum disorder, she revealed that it was the real reason why her husband left Major League Baseball.

Shonda Schilling, wife of retired All-Star pitcher Curt Schilling, of Medfield, MA, spoke for almost two hours about her book The Best Kind of Different: Our Family's Journey with Asperger's Syndrome and signed books afterward. The event was presented by The Friends of Tiverton Libraries.

The book is a New York Times bestseller.

Although preserving cognitive and language development, which differs from other autism spectrum disorders, Asperger's is described as a considerable problem with social interaction, coupled by restrictive behavioral patterns.

Hitting bookstands last March, Schilling describes the summer of 2007 when her son Grant was "spiraling out of control." While watching Curt pitch for Boston one night back in her hometown of Baltimore, Grant began throwing tantrums in the stands, rolling around aggressively and screaming.

"Grant didn't understand what was going on," she said. "There was a disconnect that I couldn't understand. He couldn't grasp that his father was down on the field [pitching]."

Grant started to tire, but continued pacing back and forth in the stands with his hands covering his ears. Eventually, he fell asleep with Shonda as the game went into later innings.

Unlike their other three children, Grant's unruly and irrational behavior grew worse over that summer. What made matters worse was her son could not relate to anyone around him.

Shonda said she chalked it up to her having melanoma skin cancer earlier in life. With Curt on the road often, she had to deal with the children, and Grant, on her own. One night on the phone with Curt, she revealed Grant's growing problem.

"Curt told me over the phone that he didn't respect me and [that] I had to make him respect me," she said. "I curled up and cried. I didn't know what to do. I was a fragile mother who was sad and completely frightened."

Shonda acknowledged how little her family and friends knew about Grant's behavior, and how inaccurate their opinions were, saying he needs more discipline, was too spoiled or "needs a good spanking."

It wasn't until a trip to the neurologist where Grant was diagnosed with Asperger's.

Spending roughly eight weeks compiling the book, Shonda said Grant, who is now 11, taught her so much. She said that while Asperger's has been prevalent in the human psyche since the 1980s, it has only been diagnosed at a larger scale in the last 10 years. Part of it high rise in diagnoses is due to Asperger's being high on the autism spectrum, she added, so it was often misunderstood since the suspected children seem typical in many other ways.

"There were so many minds 20 years ago that weren't catered to," she said.

Cassie Perry, 17, who attends school in Middletown, attended the Schilling talk Wednesday night and admitted during the question-and-answer portion that she has Asperger's.

"I feel more compassion toward her and the parents," said Perry after the talk. "They're not alone. It's not something we need to go alone."

Perry asked Schilling if Grant had a "favorite fidget" and if he's overly obsessed with specific subjects. Schilling quickly grinned and related, saying right now he's infatuated with Pokémon and marine biology.

"Don't ever fart in front of him," she told Perry. "He'll yell at the top of his lungs."

Once Grant became more comfortable with having Asperger's, and learning of his mother's tireless efforts to raise awareness, he is learning to be proud of who he is and "walk in this world with the dignity he deserves."

Schilling added jokingly that Grant wants 50 percent of the book's proceeds.

Stephanie Adam, of East Greenwich, said her 16-year-old son Bradley was just diagnosed with Asperger's and was worried that it might be too late to get all the help he would need in public education. However, after the question-and-answer session, she felt reassured.

"It was nice to connect with other parents who have kids with Asperger's," she said, who said she's read nine books on the disorder, but hearing feedback from other parents was a significant help.

Scores of other parents from around southern New England who attended Wednesday nights talk attested about their personal situations dealing with Asperger's.

"It's OK to talk about it," said Shonda. "I think people appreciate that I'm being honest with them, and they can relate."

For more information, consult the Asperger's Association of New England at www.aane.org, which has a Rhode Island chapter. Also, visit Massachusetts General Hospital Youthcare at www.massgeneral.org/youthcare.