What will people say when you are gone?

Recently, I had a death in my family.  People were notified and came in from various parts of the country as well as Canada.  He had been married to my sister-in-law for 47 years.  That, in itself, is quite an accomplishment these days.  I am afraid it will be even rarer in the future.

I had only known him about 14 years and had contact once or twice a year.  I formulated my opinions of him through that little bit of contact and through comments of others.  I was able to piece together a fair amount of his history and accomplishments.  He had quite a life.  Most of us seem to think of careers when we think of accomplishments.  I do not put as much emphasis on careers as I do on children.  In his case, he had two wonderful children who lead good, productive lives.  Those are the accomplishments for which he should be the proudest.  I am sure he is very proud of them.

I have had somewhat limited interaction with his children but, from what experience I do have, he and his wife did a great job in raising two wonderful sons.  They will do well and have wonderful accomplishments of their own.  They are on their way to success as we speak.

An obituary had to be written and a eulogy is usually given by a clergyman or family or close friend.  I have never been part of the process before so watching it come together was quite interesting. 

I would be fine if I never had to attend another funeral the rest of my life.  In this situation, a celebration of his life was held instead.  That makes much more sense to me and is much easier to attend. 

How will family and friends remember you?  Have you been a good sibling, parent, provider?  Have you been happy, loving, nurturing?  No matter where you are in your life, it is not too late to make positive changes in your life.  Be remembered for the good things you have said and done not the negative or bad things.  Hug your family members and tell them how much you love them.  Children copy their parents' actions.  Make sure that you give them a good role model to follow and they will in turn do the same for their children.  Your children are your greatest accomplishments.  You did a good job, Roy.  For this you will always be remembered.

Michael Kaynard is a local photographer who lives in West Ashley.  His photos can be found at http://kaynardphotography.webs.com.  He can be reached  at mkaynard@gmail.com or 843-412-2299.