By: Kenneth Stepp
Winning. We all want to. But winning looks so different to all of us. Some, want to find a spouse, a lover, a date, etc. We all have a picture in our mind. Have you ever stopped to make sure you define yours? Is it simple or complex?
No matter what it is or isn’t. It’s still your unique view of what winning is. Most want to find their partner in life. I suppose, I’m in that camp. But, mine is complex. More complex than a few words on paper. Mine will require a 70 foot long blackboard, complex math, an ancient Hebrew font, and a urine sample. Yes, complex.
Interviews i have conducted with women in the dating arena has resulted in varying wins. Or pictures of wins. Some short-term, some long. But everyone is out for that win. Whatever it is to them. To be a mate, to hookup, to just have a dinner date, or someone to talk with. None are wrong, all have their own set of needs. I never judge what those are. You shouldn’t either.
Heart matters play a huge role my win. The capacity to love unconditionally is a quality everyone believes they own, yet few actually do. I want that capacity. Nothing less. Some of my interviews went another way altogether. Some want security. Again, a girl in mid-life, why not? No judging here. Some want a great lover. Actually, all do. That’s another entire story. I’ll get back to you on that one. If you’re a man. Do your homework.
Many things about this subject leave me bewildered. I guess, I don’t get certain things. And, I don’t have to. Everyone is really, on their own here. I’ve heard it all. And to them. It made perfect sense. Choosing who is right for us means everything.
“Choose your life’s mate carefully. From this one decision will come 90 percent of all your happiness or misery” – H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
Let’s talk about compromise. I honestly don’t believe in it for my situation at least. I am looking for forever. So, accepting less than I believe will work is to accepting a failure soon. I’d rather not go through another one. I have loved to the point of only seeing perfection. So, nothing less will do. Again, “it all” comes into play. Been there, was hurt, only want that again. Minus the hurt of course.
Do you know what you want? Is it enough? Or are you going to settle because you’ve lost before? If so. You are allowing all those that hurt you to decide on your next relationship. Is this really what you want to allow. Some schmuck that didn’t know how to love you, is now deciding all potentials you might have? I’d like to wave a magic wand and fix this problem. That isn’t going to happen. Stop giving unloving people permission to drown out the loving ones. The loss is far too great. It’s more than any of us have to pay. Your happiness is more important than the control they still have on your life. Hurt is not forever. Hurt is only there as long as we allow it. Hurt serves a purpose. It is our teacher, our great guru in life. It is suppose to enter our lives temporarily. Not bog us down in the muck and mire we have been in. Celebrate the journey, enjoy the destination.
www.stepplife.com
Founder, American Angel Works
This post was contributed by a community member. The views expressed here are the author's own.
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