The Twinkling Stars…and Alzhiemer's

The Twinkling Stars…

 

Ah, It’s that most wonderful time of the year.  The store shelves are groaning gentle reader, from all the weight merchandise has place on those shelves and skinny arms which holds them up. It also seems more racks of clothing in all departments have been added. They are more crowded with their clothing for sale and the people, ah yes the people, loaded down with stuff over flowing their carts…picking out things for those who are naughty and nice. After all it is the season for forgiveness.

 

If you go by the make-up counter, there are numbers of sales people-I guess they are called “Make up artists.” They try there best to get you to sample all of the pretty things the have for you to buy and if you do you will get a free gift worth over $50 dollars if you only spend$37.50! People crowd around shoving and pushing each trying to see the free stuff and how to get it.

 

The music overhead shouts out Deck the Halls…trees, wreaths and even a Santa or two are deck out with bright blinking lights. And the noise gentle reader, it is deafening to a point where you really can’t catch the words the Carol-singers are singing as they joyfully ring their bells. Ding, Dong,  Ding, Dong.

 

But wait…look over there. There is a woman cringing in fright to the point she looks like she is going to scream and she has an aide with her. The woman looks so terrified, so alone and confused I go over and see if I can help. The aide holding onto her coat sleeve smiles at me when I ask if I can help. She says, “No, she will be alright.” But she sure, gentle reader doesn’t looks alright. I glance at the woman’s wrist the aide is holding and see a bracelet that says “medical alert.” The aid quietly says to me in my ear, She has Alzheimer’s.

 

I tell you all of this, gentle reader because that woman is me! I am one of millions affected by this terrible burden and my caretaker or aid is too.

 

You see when you have dementia like Alzheimer’s, or one of it’s components life can and is a mess. The load noises, the ring bells, the singing twinkling lights and the crowds can make a patient feel all sorts of horrible, scary feelings. Panic stricken, unable to move at times.

 

You see with dementia, things are always changing. I have good days that can last for days or even weeks and then suddenly, Bang, like a gun going off you find yourself in a life squeezing terror because your mate dropped a dish and the noise triggers a squeezing panic feeling out of you. You freeze not knowing what to do. Your heart, dear faithful reader, seems as if it is going to burst out of your chest….And then it’s over and a degree of peace washes over you as water in a shower and every thing is right again, but maybe only for a moment.  A child’s scream, a baby crying. Those are triggers to me. I  as a 70 year old transesexual woman go into a stomach griping fear. A fear so strong that I want to screams as well.

Several days ago I could not, for the life of me speak properly…put sentences together, forgetting what I am saying. I was in a panic. Scared and afraid it would not end, but thankfully it did.

Here are some things you, gentle reader can do to help the Holiday Season just a bit more bearable for that person with dementia.

• Set your own limits early, and be clear about them with others. You don’t have to live up to the expectations of friends or relatives. Your situation may be different now.
• Encourage family and friends to visit. EVEN IF IT IS PAINFUL FOR THEM. However the number of persons visiting at one times should be kept to a minimum. Perhaps try a few persons visiting quietly in a separate room. Most Alzheimer’s patients can pull it together for brief periods, if they have had adequate private rest in between.
• Avoid changing light intensity; too bright or too dark. I panic when everything goes dark. I do not like twilight or nights.
• Our kitchen is just behind my living room sofa and we have an ice dispenser in the fridge. When my wife, Lisa goes and get ice water the machine makes a lot of noise and it frightens me.
• If you receive, dear caregiver, an invitation to a holiday celebration which your love one can’t attend, GO YOURSELF. Enjoy the chance to be with friends and family who love you and enjoy your company, with or with out your love one.

Alzheimer’s is the 6^th major killer here in the United States. A new diagnose is made every 68 minutes and there is no cure in sight for the near future. You see gentle reader a diagnose of Alzhmeir’s or form there of is at present a death sentence And frankly, I am terrified. As a pastor for over 25 year  working in an inner city hospital on weekend and being responsible for ministry of the whole hospital  I have seen this horrible disease work. I’ve been there when the patient and family are gather waiting and praying for it all to end. It’s not a pretty picture for a family and caregiver to experience.  I know the road which I am called to walk and I am “scared to death” knowing it can only be getting worse. A few days ago I couldn’t get my words out completely and I would forget in mid- sentence what I was saying and I was afraid. This is the walk I am walking.

 

You see, this dementia works so slow, ever so slow, destroying the brain cells one by one. It is like looking up at the night stars twinkling in the heavens. Think of those twinkling stars as you look above. As you look, some start to fade away as clouds move in blocking them from view. Such it is with Alzheimer’s. One brain cell dies and then another, and another. Gone forever. The march goes on one cell at a time ultimately to the grave.  You gradually lose the ability to concentrate, to think.  Writing this I had to use a dictionary a number of times on words I use to be able to spell. You loose the ability to walk and talk. But that’s not all, you lose all control of your body’s function including your bowels and become completely helpless dependant on others for everything. And the worst part gentle reader, is that there is not a dam thing I can do about it. I’ve been there gentle reader. I seen those horrible tentacles do there work destroy brain cells one by on. This may be my last Christmas. I’m certain next Christmas won’t be the same or I may not even get to be there. God only knows and it is in him I put my trust as I do with you. That’s right. You see it takes money to find the drugs to fight and eliminate this horrible disease. Research & Help Lines 7/24 are expensive. A Christmas gift in the name of someone you want to honor could be sent to the Alzheimer’s Association, perhaps a tribute to a love one or just help in the expensive research to find a cure.

 

For further information as to how you can be a part, call the Alzheimer’s Association, the largest group in the world fighting this terminal disease. Go to the web and type in www.Alz.com or to talk to an expert about this disease call 1 (800) 272-3900. The phones are answered 7/24. Expert people are standing by to talk about a friend or spouse with Alzheimer’s.  To answer questions and give you information on how you can help find a cure.

 

I’m sending my Christmas Gift. Gentle reader, join me and lets make a difference together.

Yours for the Cure,

Pastor Kaye