7 Bonding Exercises to Strengthen Your Marriage

by Nancy Fagan, Relationship Resolution Center

Researcher Robert Epstein, Ph.D. believes it is possible to increase your closeness or feelings of love by using scientifically inspired techniques. Below are seven of his many love-building exercises from an article titled, “How Science Can Help You Fall in Love” that was published in the Scientific American Mind (Jan/Feb 2010). Techniques reprinted with permission.

“Intimate Gazing”

Standing or sitting about two feet away from each other, look deeply into each other’s eyes, trying to look into the very core of your beings. Do this for two minutes and then talk about what they saw.

“Love Aura”

Place the palm of your hand as close as possible to your partner’s palm without actually touching. Do this for several minutes, during which you will feel not only heat but also, sometimes, sparks.

“Let Me See Inside”

Stand about four feet away from each other and focus on each other. Every 10 seconds or so move a bit closer until, after several shifts, you are well inside each other’s personal space (the boundary is about 18 inches). Get as close as you can without touching.

“Secret Swap”

Write down a deep secret and have your partner do the same. Then trade papers and talk about what you read. You can continue this process until you have run out of secrets. Better yet, save some of your secrets for another day.

“Monkey Love”

Standing or sitting near each other, start moving your hands, arms, and legs any way you like—but in a fashion that perfectly imitates your partner. This is fun but also challenging. You will both feel as if you are moving voluntarily, but your actions are also linked to those in your partner.

“Mind-Reading Game”

Write down a thought that you want to convey to your partner. Then spend a few minutes wordlessly trying to broadcast that thought to him or her, as he or she tries to guess what it is. If he or she cannot guess, reveal what you were thinking. Then switch roles.

“Two as One”

Embrace each other gently, begin to sense your partner’s breathing, and gradually try to synchronize your breathing with his or her. After a few minutes, you might feel that the two of you have merged (Do not let it lead to sexual intimacy.).

Source: Nancy Fagan, LMFT is the founder of the Relationship Resolution Center, an online counseling and coaching business in Plano, Texas. As a 3-time published author, she has been a nationally recognized divorce and relationship expert since 1997.