Austin Waiter's Site Unleashes Poop On Bad Patrons

AUSTIN, TX — Whoever said revenge was a dish best served cold might want to reassess the concept. Yelp reviewers beware: An Austin waiter has launched a social media page where fellow servers can not only commiserate over rude customers but exact revenge with deliveries of poop.

There's no way to delicately put that or avoid going all scatological. It's all about poop.

Dan Neves, the Austin waiter, created YELP BULLIES EXPOSED, a private Facebook page yielding a conduit for the, um, special deliveries to bad restaurant patrons, as the Houston Chronicle reported. Created in April, the closed group has 711 members and counting. It's intended to avenge what servers perceive as unfair online reviews.

But don't worry, it's animal excrement — cow or elephant dung, for instance, not human — that's anonymously sent via the website poopsenders.com. Through the portal, offended servers can send those special packages to home or business addresses, giving users the option of paying in cash to avoid leaving a paper trail.

The site offers the range of animal waste, from cow dung priced at $17.95 to elephant crap costing $19.95. Those wanting to go truly exotic with their revenge can order some gorilla poop for $19.95. For expressing real umbrage, there's the "combo pack" for $44.95 to really get the message across the bad review wasn't appreciated.

The site suggests the stuff can be bought by the quart or the gallon, the volume presumably commensurate with the ire of the offended server. Apparently, it's all legal too.

So Yelp reviewers might want to think twice before discharging bad reviews over restaurant service. Might be best to just let it go and allow it to pass or run the risk of having one crappy day after opening the mail.