Former Texas Gov. Rick Perry Eliminated From 'Dancing With The Stars' [UPDATE]

AUSTIN, TX -- It was the last dance for former Gov. Rick Perry after getting eliminated from the ABC program "Dancing with the Stars" on Tuesday.

He and his professional dancing partner, Emma Slater -- who futilely utilized the entire breadth of her expertise in trying to make Perry move in ways approximating dance -- were eliminated both by judges and a call-in-vote tabulation.

Worse: The loss came at the hands of a fellow Texan. Worse still: It was Vanilla Ice who apparently danced better than the former governor. Perry gave it his all -- dancing the paso doble in matador garb -- but in the end was iced out of the competition.

Yet Perry had fun during his brief turn on DWTS, and was gratified the steps he did learn would be put to good us at his upcoming daughter's wedding.

"My daughter is getting married on the 15th of October, and I can promise you I will look good on the dance floor for her," Perry said, in spite of the contortions witnessed by a national audience who may collectively have another opinion on the matter.

Spoken like a true politician.

From Sept. 13:

AUSTIN, TX — If former Gov. Rick Perry proved anything on his "Dancing with the Stars" debut Monday night, it's that the exclamation "oops" can also be conveyed wordlessly, through some sort of interpretive dance.

Perry is competing in the 23rd season of the televised dancing contest, which was broadcast Monday on ABC. He's joined in the latest installment by such other "stars" as fellow Texan Vanilla Ice, disgraced Olympic swimmer Ryan Lochte, triumphant Olympic gymnast Laurie Hernandez, retired football player Calvin Johnson and Indy race car driver James Hinchcliffe.

This is Perry's second turn on a national stage. The first time he gained national stature came during a failed presidential run in 2012, when he famously forgot one of the three federal agencies he'd abolish if he were to become president during a GOP debate.

"Oops," he said sheepishly after being unable to recall the elusive third agency he vowed to shut down if elected to the high office.

It was awkward — not unlike the dance moves he displayed.

The performance was (what else) a Texas-themed one, as Perry pranced over to his dance partner, Emma Slater — passing a corn dog booth prop along the way in a carnival backdrop. He wore black accented with a bolo tie, his jacket decorated with white piping ornamentation.

The musical accompaniment was "God Blessed Texas," by the band Little Texas. It's a song normally associated with line dancing in these parts, not the cha-cha with which the former governor was tasked. Yet the lyrics to the song seemed appropriate that night, if only ironically:

God blessed Texas with His own hand

Brought down angels from the promised land

Gave 'em a place where they could dance

If you want to see heaven, brother, here's you chance

I've been sent to spread the message: God blessed Texas.

What ensued was sort of like the time the character of Elaine Benes danced on the classic sitcom "Seinfeld," a performance George Costanza described as a "full-body dry heave set to music." The moves weren't angelic, but performed with the grace of an elephant — like the mascot from the GOP of which Perry's a member — in cowboy boots.

Yet the dancing judges were charitable with their critiques, one saying she was making allowances for this being the first time Perry had ever danced — a skill he said he wants to master before his daughter's wedding. Other judges scored on a similar curve.

Struggling to find the words to describe what he had just witnessed, judge Len Goodman offered: "It was a little bit pedestrian at times, but I gotta say you've never danced before, you've got no dance background, you've come out, you've given it a go, lots of recognizable cha cha cha in there. So good on ya."

The performance was "not exactly subtle," added fellow judge Bruno Tonioli.

That was as good as it got. Ultimately, each judge gave him a score of five out of a possible 10.

"Five, baby, yes!" Perry shouted unexpectedly and jarringly, punching his fist in the air. "Five, I love you!" he added, inexplicably.

Asked by host Tom Bergeron how dancing compared to a presidential debate, Perry said: "Presidential debate ain't even in the class! This is crazy good! This is as good as it gets!"

He had fun, as expressed on his Twitter page. And really, that's the most important thing.

But Perry came in last place on Monday, the lowest score of all 13 couples competing, with the first elimination round scheduled to be aired Sept. 20. He came in lower even than disgraced swimmer Lochte — who earned four more points than Perry — who danced with the grace of a fish out of water.

Lochte's turn yielded what was the saving grace of having been forced to watch the telecast for reportorial purposes. After the athlete danced, there was a bit of unexpected drama with some sort of spontaneous disruption — early reports indicated two men rushed the stage to get at the disgraced swimmer before the host abruptly cut to a commercial.

Lochte is infamous for having thrown an entire country, Brazil, under the bus with a concocted story that he had been robbed when, in fact, he had been ringleader during a night of debauchery and vandalism with his fellow swimming teammates while out on the town. As his fabrication unraveled, he was forced to apologize to the country that hosted him and other athletes for the Olympics in Rio de Janeiro last month.

In essence, Lochte delivered an affront to an entire country with his actions. On Monday night, many feel, Perry delivered an affront to the world of dance and to all who derive joy from the activity.

Watch Perry's performance below. But be warned, as it's not for the faint of heart.

>>> Photo credit Gage Skidmore via Flickr